I Finally Read Dan Brown

Hats off to Roddick, totally owned Fed. But I guess Fed is the ultimate player of the century for a reason, eh? Mad final match, I’m surprised Fed’s wife did not go into labour right there in center court.

Sorry Mr. Brown for taking this long, I am deeply ashamed & regret this very much. But more about that later.

I’m baaaacccck from Bali with me UTP bros & sistas. We fought valiantly against the swines & all the As & Hs & Ns & 1s, we wore sarongs, we discovered that anything that had land space qualifies as a road in Bali, we witnessed the overpopulation of motorcycles, & we discovered we were naturally talented in swallowing Kuta waves rather than surfing. Especially Suet Yeng, to whom I had to play Baywatch saviour to keep her from overdosing herself with salt water.

The closest we ever got to successfully standing on the board at Kuta beach

I would have loved to say Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen was totally awesome but who am I kidding? It was one heck of an unbalanced movie, so thankfully I checked my brain at the cinema doors. I had no idea what the plot was all about frankly - something about Megatron working under The Fallen, a big gun that would shoot the sun or something hidden in the pyramids, & Megan Fox working in a bengkel – it was just plain ridiculous, but really who cares since we were there to see the robots & outrageous action-packed almost-pornographic shots of Megan Fox CGI spectacles. Minus the irritating twin Autobots (which the Devastator should have easily tapao’ed) & the many additional generic pointless Decepticons (& WHAT THE F**K WAS THAT DECEPTICON CHICK ALL ABOUT?! Tiba-tiba felt like Species pulak), Bay did not disappoint when it comes to cool robot action. The Optimus action scene in the mountains in the middle of the movie reigned supreme & was the spectacular moment of the film, it left me completely breathless. Bay really shouldn’t have attempted to do so much & draw out so many unnecessary scenes that just seemed to go on & on. Shia did a commendable job by the way, holding his own against the mighty presence of the robots.

Optimus giving some serious prime ass whooping in the mountains

With this holidays completing its first month, I have been catching up with the one favourite thing I last religiously did with the last Potter book – reading. I finally, finally, gave a chance to Dan Brown, & first started off with Da Vinci, & now I’ve also completed Angels & Demons followed subsequently by Deception Point. I must say, regardless whether factual or not, Dan Brown sure knows a whole load of shit & is exceptionally gifted in creating outrageously superb plots, though I was occasionally tired by the sudden flashbacks & some overdrawn descriptive points of Angels & Demons as well as Deception Point. The Brown books could not however match my feverish fetish for Potter, but it would be unfair to compare Potter against the Dan Brown novels, due to their different writing styles & plot structure. Let’s just put it this way; I enjoyed tremendously the intelligence & thrill of Dan Brown, but I skipped meals, sleep & toilet trips for Potter. Nevertheless, I would not hesitate at the least to give a two-thumbs-two-toes-up & rate The Da Vinci Code, Angels & Demons & Deception Point as must-reads.

Now, I am one of those who unashamedly watched the movie version of Angels & Demons before reading the book, so I did enjoy the movie, but now after reading the book, I realize why many of Dan Brown fans are unhappy with how Ron Howard tremendously simplified the plot (almost completely taking away the science aspect & role of the book) & only concentrating on the battle against the Vatican. The many layers & complexities of all of Dan Brown’s stories are one of the best things about the novels, & more notably for Angels & Demons, since this particular book is where Dan Brown first attempts at intertwining science with controversial religious plots. Keeping faithful with the book would have given the Camerlengo’s role much more crucial resonance & substance on the big screen. 

Speaking of which, guilty of the sin of watching both Ron Howard’s big screen adaptations before reading Dan Brown, I robbed myself of the powerful exhilaration I would have experienced facing Dan Brown’s plot twists in Da Vinci & Angels head-on first time, & I only have myself to blame for not giving a chance to Dan Brown up till now. Anyway, just like Sir Ian McKellen in Da Vinci (as Sir Leigh Teabing), I admired the inspired choice of the brilliant Ewan McGregor as Camerlengo Ventresca/McKenna. Tom Hanks is definitely not the Langdon I imagined from the books, but at least I enjoyed Audrey Tatou (as Sophie Neveu) much more than Ayelet Zurer’s disappointing role as Vittoria Vetra. The one thing I truly was fascinated from the Angels & Demons movie, however, was how the grand sequence of the Camerlengo saving Vatican from the antimatter explosion was visually depicted. It was quite breathtaking on screen.

Ewan McGregor was brilliant!

& again, because I watched both the movie versions of both Da Vinci & Angels before reading them, resulting in me imagining the respective movie characters in their roles when reading, I could not help but do the same for Deception Point. Of course there’s no Deception Point movie (yet, I guess?), but I couldn’t restrain myself from imagining particular actors/actresses playing the characters in the movie as I read. Interestingly though, from the moment Rachel Sexton (what an irresistable name!) appeared in the first few pages, the first actress that came into mind was relatively unknown Rachel Nichols, & I seriously do not know why! Call it male intuition? Anyway, you can see her in previous movies like Charlie Wilson’s War & P2 or in the coming G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, since you probably do not know who I’m talking about.

Which begs a rather intriguing but insignificant question, who would be suitable to play the roles of the characters in Deception Point should there be a big screen adaptation in the future? Now, I figure the probability of a Deception Point movie is much less compared to the likelihood of Dan Brown’s soon-to-be-released The Lost Symbol being made a movie first, keeping in mind how we love the controversial Vatican & religious scandals as opposed to the government conspiracies of Deception Point, but what the hell, it’s the holidays for me. Oh, I’m going to take Rachel Nichols out of my mind for a more realistic choice (even though she stubbornly stucked in my mind all throughout my reading). Here’s KV playing director, for pointless fun.

Rachel Nichols, Bryce Dallas Howard, Evangeline Lilly & Jennifer Garner

Rachel Sexton - Bryce Dallas Howard/Evangeline Lilly/Jennifer Garner

Michael Tolland – Ewan McGregor/Robert Downey Jr.

President Zachary Herney – Steve Martin. Joking! Harrison Ford?

Senator Sedgewick Sexton – Russell Crowe/John Travolta

Corky Marlinson – Paul Bettany

NASA Administrator Lawrence Ekstrom - William Peterson

William Pickering – Liam Neeson

Marjorie Tench – Judi Dench

Gabrielle Ashe – Marsha Thomason/Zoe Saldana

Delta-One – Clive Owen

This all-star cast is nuts, but Deception Point would make quite a kick-ass movie. Besides, who could possibly resist such a movie of which its protagonist carries a name like Rachel SEXTON?

So, anyone wanna lend me a copy of Digital Fortress? & by September, The Lost Symbol?

Am I Mellowing Down?

Years back when I was still a teenager, there was this day when I was in my brother’s car, & my brother was listening to some Westlife CD during the drive. I was in the midst of the Evanescence-Linkin Park era of music preferences, so I remember sniggering at my big brother’s apparent “soft” choice of music.

“Gettting older lah, I’m mellowing down. When you reach my age, you will soften too.” So he said. “Nahh, no way!”, I bellowed. Never, I thought in my head, Avril Lavigne was the softest I could imagine ever reaching, but never wimpy-Westlife-fy-soft! N-E-V-E-R!

Now, I apparently should eat my words. Because I actually thought the Hannah Montana movie did not suck. WHAT?! I hear you.

Saving Miley/Hannah for later, let me see, the signs of me growing older characteristically were popping up as my years of university life reached its end. I discovered my machoism did have its rather sensitive side when I almost, I said ALMOST, ended up with tears welling up in my eye sockets when watching the heart-wrenching story of Grace is Gone. Then, worse, my so-called machoism totally gave way in Bridge To Terabithia, because when AnnaSophia Robb’s enchanting Leslie Burke died, there I was in a minimal yet existing amount of tears, clutching tightly my pillow. Shit. Damn you, AnnaSophia. Why did you have make Leslie so darn lovable?

I think a more obvious sign, quite a crowning moment of mellowness glory, is when I started to obliviously play, then replay afew couple of times more, a Westlife song, “Us Against the World”. I’ve never accepted any Westlife song in my playlist since the brilliant “Flying Without Wings”, let alone replay a HidupSelatan track quite a number of times. I remember that jackass Felix laughing his ass shit off when he hanged out in my room & heard my iTunes playing Westlife. So, with my bro’s words years back coming back to bite my ass, the thought of me apparently, finally, getting a little “softer” with age hit me.

Sure, my favourite is still the awesome punkness of Paramore, I still love Lifehouse (though they have mellowed down too) & Muse’s head-banging “A Map of Problematique” is at the top of my iTunes play count along with Coldplay’s “Lovers in Japan”, but the fact that I was listening to Westlife more than just a couple of times, almost instinctively & without realization, means something. Sure, I maintained some level of my machoism enjoying super-macho movies like 300 & the ka-boomness of Terminator Salvation. But I also very much loved the blissful romantic cheese that is The Notebook.

Since I have watched every other summer movie, & Monsters vs Aliens was full, she pulled me to watch The Hannah Montana Movie, featuring the girl with the shitty yucky vocals, Miley Cyrus.

To be frank, it was obviously a movie for Montana fans, & I was wa-a-ay too macho (so I thought) for Hannah-who?-Montana, but I was surprised, almost shocked, to find that my mellowness level has shot down so much that I actually thought the movie did not suck. The hip-hop “Hoedown Throwdown” moment was infectiously enjoyable, & “The Climb” finale scene was surprisingly quite fitting, though the execution of some snippets could have been better. I mean, did they really need to show Travis grinning at Miley like, a million times again & again? Yes, the acting chops of Billy Ray Cyrus were horrible to watch, & the plot is silly (about rediscovering her true Miley self, only to go back to being Hannah Montana, wtf?) but no one really cares since her fans will eat it up anyway. The fact is Miley Cyrus, as much as I dislike her, actually is quite endearing as a likeable Miley Stewart/Hannah Montana. This movie only cements my belief that she should really just stick to acting, since she sings like a constipated walrus on helium.

Not that the movie was not forgettable, it was, even with some cute cameos from Tyra Banks & Taylor Swift (& her even more beautiful Taylor Koa). But yeah, the Hannah Montana movie did not suck. Leslie Burke. Westlife. The Notebook. Hannah Montana.

“Getting older lah, I’m mellowing down…”

Boom clap. Boom de clap de clap. Pop it, lock it, polka dot it. Countrify then hip-hop it. Put your hawk in the sky move side to side. Jump to the left, stick it, glide!

Amy Adams & Coldplay Made My Day

Okay, everyone should know by now that Star Trek currently still holds a rather healthy lead over the other “summer blockbusters”. A truly deserved one, it was pure fun, entertainment, wonderfully-paced action, & the perfect summer popcorn flick.

Terminator Salvation, I guess, pretty much scored in terms of being an edge-of-your-seats action-packed bazooka-ish-filled 2 hours extravaganza. & they left it there.

Me & Bryce, we gonna stick with this expression for the whole movie, yeah. Not like we’ve got much else to do anyway, eh?

Some pretty slick & fantastic action scenes that then were overwhelmed by the overboard noise decibels & number of big-ass explosions left me rather breathless & tired, but nevertheless midly entertained. Still, 2 of my favourites, Christian Bale & the supremely-talented Bryce Dallas Howard, were brutally underutilized, with zero character development, & McG deserves the death penalty for that, if not for the LOL-CGI-Arnold or the laughable ridiculous ending to the storyline. In a nutshell, it went from boom-boom-pow!!! to bleh.

Pushing blockbusters aside, I finally watched Memento afew weeks back, which was a storytelling masterpiece by the Nolan brothers yet again, while Emily Blunt shines in The Young Victoria. Another riveting political fest came in the form of Frost/Nixon, which had some of the most dramatically captivating acting performances from the cast.

& after more than a month of a constant weekly dosage of summer blockbuster releases, what has stayed in my mind the most?

Night at the Museum 2: Battle of the Something-ians-wtf-ever.

Me likes me women feisty!

I must reiterate that the only reason to watch this weaker sequel is the ever-delightful Amy Adams as an awesomely feisty Amelia Earhart with a sparkling screen presence & that distracting curvature of her bloody cute butt. But in that final scene, when the “modern” bespectacled-long-haired Amy Adams appeared in front of this wanker called Ben Stiller, with the wonderful surprise of Coldplay’s “Life in Technicolor” playing in the background, all combined to serve us quite possibly the most memorable scene of the summer, for me at least. The perfect song used perfectly in a perfect scene with the perfect sweetheart that is Amy Adams. With the perfect cute bum.

Should have called it the Amy Adams show, or even the Amy Adams Butt Show, rather than Battle of the Something-ians-wtf-ever.

Curtains for Season 8

Quick update: Amy Adams is irresistably endearing, totally lovable, absolutely adorable! She (& her cute butt) are the only reasons to watch Night at the Museum 2.

Who cares who won? It was not the huge upset everyone thinks it was, come on, Adam does not deserve to win any more than Kris. It was basically choosing between his over-the-top wailing or Kris Allen’s limited vocal abilities, & the quality of this season is nothing compared to the awesome Season 7. What matters is the final results episode being kick-ass, & boy it was, I have got to admit! Really a total reverse of the performance episode, & who do we have to thank for a memorable end to Season 8? David Cook & Kara DioGuardi, & not forgetting Carrie Underwood’s very-welcomed presence & appearances throughout the season. So here’s a quick recap of what I thought was some of the best, worst & just plain memorable from a riveting suspiciously-conspired “ding-dong” Season 8.

Best Idol Performances:

1. Danny Gokey leading the way with “Somebody to Love” during the Hollywood group stages. Gokey was absolutely spectacular

2. Adam Lambert performing “Mad World” the first time, song choice of the season (& no screaming-wailing-screeching-whatever, thank God!)

3. Allison Iraheta with a mind-blowing rendition of “Alone”. If she did that in a finale…

4. Kris Allen’s cool saved-his-lucky-arse “Heartless”, not exactly creative, but excellent comparatively. Btw, I don’t think his “Falling Slowly” was outstanding as everyone thinks, probably because I thought the original was just untouchable

Best Guest Performances:

1. David Cook’s stunning “Permanent”, showing Season 8 what a true AI winner is all about. Indeed the best idol winner alongside Underwood & a slowly languishing Clarkson

2. Jordin Sparks‘ powerful “Battlefield” with Ryan Tedder. Ama-a-a-zing! Fier-r-rce!

3. Carrie Underwood’s “Home Sweet Home”, the best & only worthy performance in the top two finals episode

Best Duet Performances:

1. Adam Lambert & Allison Iraheta’s sizzling chemistry in “Slow Ride”

2. Kris Allen & Keith Urban, nice surprise, “Kiss A Girl”

Most Shitty Performance:

1. “No Boundaries” both by Adam & Kris in the finale. Yet another exceptionally shitty AI ballad. How I miss the best ones like “A Moment Like This” & “I Believe”… 

2. Paula Abdul’s guest performance. OMG what crap

3. Miley Cyrus attempting to sing live on the Idol stage with “The Climb”. Yucks

Best Vocals, what AI is really supposed to be about:

Danny Gokey, hands-down. Poor choice of songs, attempts & a sliding momentum spelled his end.

Best Guest Mentor:

Jamie Foxx! Fantastic energy, sincere mentoring

Cutest Idol:

Carrie Underwood? Alexis Grace! Really really loved her look. Allison Iraheta me likes very much too, minus some wardrobe misfits. Dunno what the judges were talking about, I thought she had loads of attitude, rock feistiness &…uh, well she really is cute!

Idols that should have gone home much earlier:

1. Scott MacIntyre. Sorry, really dull voice, too many sympathy votes

2. Lil Rounds. Bleh

Idol that went home too early:

Alexis Grace. Cute, petite, soulful, & should have been given more time

Best Idol Studio Recorded Version:

Matt Giraud’s “You Found Me”. 10 times better than what he screeched live in the show, 20 times better than the original

Best Season 8 Moment:

I was tempted to say Cowell’s bulging eyes & ”wow” mouth when Bikini Girl appeared in the finale, but Kara DioGuardi kicking the implants shit outta Bikini Girl with not just her singing, but her own even-hotter bikini-strip-down, was completely totally OWNING!

Most Excruciating Things you must try to forget from Season 8:

1. Adam Lambert’s rendition of “Ring of Fire”. Major jaw-dropping ball-twisting weirdness

2. Tatiana Del Toro. Oh the horror

3. Bikini Girl. Ewww

4. Adam Lambert’s tongue & testicles-defying pants

Now I’m off to rewatch David Cook’s heart-felt performance in the fantastic finale results episode again…no harm dropping by for a short sneak peek at DioGuardi’s bikini bod too…

Out with the Old, In with the New

Movie updates: Angels & Demons was an improved thrilling effort compared to Da Vinci, but at the moment the summer belongs to the pretty darn awesome Star Trek. Watching out for Terminator Salvation, Potter & Transformers 2, but I would like Night at the Museum 2’s nonsense fun first.

Ladies & fellow wankers, these are the few final weeks & days before my university life comes to an end, assuming everything goes according to plan of course. I have many things to be extremely pissed about, even more to reminisce of, & only a handful to be happy about.

Let me just get one thing out of my system. The last few weeks of academic education just before the finals hit us usually corresponds to the many deadlines of semester-long projects of our various courses, or in other words, stress time for me as I assume my normal additional role of chief editor of group project reports & presentations. If I were to express myself here just a couple of weeks back, I could safely argue that perhaps only 10 percent of that entry would consist of non-expletive vocabulary (perhaps only for transition & sentence structure purposes). The amount of exasperation, disappointment & lost of respect for particular team members in some particular group projects I suffered was mounting dangerously towards blatant fury levels. Some were downright lazy, some did not have any common sense, some I had always thought to be high-scoring hardworking ones but turned out to be unashamedly irresponsible, some were stupid, & some were stupid but think themselves to be someone of Einstein blood with Obama authority. Hey, I myself admit I am a lazy son of a bitch when it comes to studies but at least I am responsible & do not go near fucking up other people’s work. Thank God for the dependable excellent members. Well, fortunately perhaps, I never got to finish that entry, owing a thanks to the shitty speed (or lack of any connection whatsoever) of my TECHNOLOGY university’s internet.

So out with that, let’s move on.

The American Idol finale was a total let-down wasn’t it? The most disappointing top two among what was initially looking like a promising top 5, with the consistently annoying & self-indulgent Adam Lambert & mundane weak Kris Allen giving performances not fit for an AI finale. Which kinda only reinforced my belief that Gokey should have been on the stage that night to tapao all of them kao kao, with Iraheta deserving 2nd spot. Booo.

So, very much out with that!

When it comes to phones, this bloke over here always stuck with all-round functionality, practicality, price range & a simple but must-be-stylish looks. From my first Moto C350, I ventured into Sony Ericsson’s T630, going on to valiantly protect my loyalty with Sony through the K700 & the K750. During internship back in 2008, I finally got tired of all the functions offered in a phone that I rarely & sometimes never use anyway. I had my iPod for music, & I had her Canon for photographing, so it was back to the basics of phone calling & messaging. So what to spend on then? Why not the sleek refined killer looks of the Motorola RAZR2 V9 Black? Adding into the whole feel was that curious tiny sensation of flipping a phone to receive or end calls. So, out went half of my internship savings for the V9 (with the other half going to my LL16 guitar).

& out went half of my internship investment in barely 10 months when my V9 was stolen just a week ago from my hostel room. French. United. Connection. Kingdom. Oh the anguish. Blatant fury levels came barging through all over again.

To cut the story short, I have resorted back to my old preferences of functionality, & more importantly this time around, price limits considering I am not ready to approach another heartache of losing a 1.4k phone again. So I’ve settled with SE’s T700 with an insanely awesome price of 600 bucks, reconciliating with Sony. This is my first below-1k phone, & honestly I am so far very much enjoying myself with the all-round functions, awesome phone interface & more importantly the simple underrated but stylish executive slim design of the T700. SE have really came out with an impressive T-Series reboot model here; don’t forget its fantastic price tag too.

Comparing my new phone to the old stolen one, it is like losing Jessica Alba & getting a brand new Anne Hathaway. Sort of. & me really likes Hathaway.

So you see, just as I started, I indeed have many things to be extremely pissed about, even more to reminisce of, & only a handful to be happy about.

The happy things? Too personal to relate here, but trust me, they are worth it. =)

From Stingrays to Sepang

KV just found out 3 of his female uni friends purchased new laptops to replace their spoilt ones just very recently. Which kinda demonstrates that something is quite not right with our fairer sex, since we guys tax our laptops waa-a-a-y more than the other species, yet ours are still working fine. Go figure. Yes, I am gladly, & justifiably, stereotyping! Even met a girl who never thought of the basic need to install an antivirus program, teeheee.

PPPPPIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWW!!!!

Frankly, I have no idea how to construct a Formula One car sound with roman letters, but it sure was mind-blowing!

It all started when Ed the Meche Nerd & I the Meche Stud formed a partnership to participate in UTP’s Formula One Innovative Design Contest. What we had to do was to come up with our own conceptual design of a Formula One car using a design engineering software (CATIA/AutoCAD) & justify our design innovations. So, deciding to go all-out in our creative flair (since Ed is a CATIA maestro, making it a software-design reality would be quite possible) while taking a heck load of liberties with FiA’s rules & regulations, we designed with implementation of some radical concepts such as a covered driver cockpit, lowered engine air intake, oval sidepods, extended rear side bodies that sweep above the rear wheels, a 3-blade 2008-inspired front wing, & we topped it all off with a split rear wing, all in the name of aerodynamics – minimizing drag, increasing downforce, reducing rear turbulence – & more importantly, innovation. Our Formula One concept car was given the name The Stingray.

What Mr. Nerd & Mr. Stud we weren’t prepared for was actually qualifying for the final top 3 teams. Or that we had to present a formal technical presentation in UTP’s Chancellor Hall in the final. Or, even more significant, that the judges who would be evaluating us in the final are Mario Theissen (BMW Motorsports Director), Peter Sauber (Sauber Team Principal), & (are you ready for this) the BMW Sauber F1 drivers themselves, Robert Kubica & Nick Heidfeld.

Robert Kubica & Nick Heidfeld during the autograph session at UTP Complex

Yup, in case you have not read it from the papers, the BMW Sauber F1 team dropped by UTP during the week leading up to Sepang for a Formula One-filled day of activities, coordinated by Petronas Motorsports & UTP. & one of the activities were the presentations by the finalists of the Innovative Design contest.

Introducing our concept design

Presenting at the Chancellor’s Hall in front of the crowd & the panel of judges

Explaining how we tackled the surface pressure analysis factor into our design

We ended up as 2nd place winners. I think we presented well that day (based on feedback, since we had reporters & students coming up to us personally telling how impressed they were with our design & presentation), & the judges were not too hard on us (questions came from Heidfeld & Theissen, who commented that we were being very adventurous, haha). It was an exceptionally humbling experience, being my first technical presentation in front of the mighty BMW Sauber F1 bosses & drivers; yet what an opportunity it was! & me having to orally present in the intimidating Chancellor’s Hall was daunting yet memorable, & surprisingly I was not exactly nervous, so it was a first sign of how beneficial the PCS course was!

All the winners with (from left) our Rector, Theissen, Sauber, Kubica & Heidfeld

Supporters, thank you very much!

Posing with UTP Rector, Datuk Dr. Zainal, & our mock ticket

Wait till you read what we won as prizes each. Sepang F1 Grandstand Diamond Corporate Platform tickets worth RM1950 each, a RM600 BMW Sauber F1 sling bag (ridiculously, & suspiciously, overpriced), & accomodation at Hotel Maya KL with certain meals provided from Thursday to Monday! Pretty awesome for what only started as a little creative afterthought eh?

So on Thursday, off the top 5 winners went on a fully-sponsored KL/Sepang tour trip that was jointly sponsored by ESPN & Petronas. We the UTP design winners were joined in the group by other contest winners from Singapore, Thailand, Taiwan & Indonesia, though their contest was not a design competition, rather a guess-the-champion kinda contest. But just like them, I was taking this trip as a welcomed honeymoon break from UTP life.

Yawning before departure. Mak cik cleaner not coming along for the ride

First thing upon reaching KL, check into a 5-star hotel

With the most bubbly, fantastic, open-minded chaperone you can ever get, Miss Suhana

This was taken during the 1st night buffet welcome dinner at the hotel, which was impeccable – huge oysters, sushis, sirloin steaks, marshmallows & berries dipped in chocolate fountain, topped off with Haagen-Dasz

More sponsored goodies!

With Jacinth & Juliana, our tour group coordinators from Leo Burnett, at the KLCC sky bridge

At Menara KL with Pearl & Kiddick from Thailand

The whole group – big hearty thanks to ESPN & Petronas from Malaysia, Singapore, Thailand, Indonesia & Taiwan!

Marching towards Sepang, Qualifying Day

A wet Race Day: BMW Sauber supporters for the day. Petronas, please ignore the red bags

Would have very much preferred to join these guys: the prancing horse of Scuderia Ferrari has always been in my heart since I was a kid

Couldn’t resist a Ferrari polo tee, RM300 hangus. Ed also puchased one though he wasn’t a Ferrari fan at all, damn potong stim for loyal fans like I

Having corporate platform ticks allows you a free Golf GTi ride from the gate to the grandstands

With my old Mercedes-Benz Malaysia colleagues, Anida & Liz, at the Mercedes-Benz booth. How I miss them, such delightful colleagues they were during my internship there

Anida: “Tahun nih got your McLaren SLR kat display!”

Pictures like these make me feel tall & huge.

Juliana & Jacinth showing who’s behind all this

The F1 drivers performing their publicity duties. Apologies to Petronas, Kubica & Heidfeld, for I was cheering for Raikkonen

The gorgeous M-Benz AMG safety & medic cars. I was drooling at the SL63 AMG, that babe purred like no other

If cars are not your thing, there are always the local women to oggle at

But if local women are not your cup of tea, salivate at imported babes then

The teams setting up at the grid for the formation lap. Thank you Kimi for qualifying P7, for you were directly in front of us! Watching the extremely thorough Ferrari engineers & crew working was an inspirational moment

1 of the main reasons I was looking forward to, seeing my idol – Michael Schumacher, the only driver who was as mean as the machine he drove. He waved back at us when I joined the crowd in hollering his name. The sore throat was worth it, could have died a happy man that day.

It’s Kimi Raikkonen! Looking as oblivious-to-the-crowd as ever

He didn’t even look remotely interested in shaking Najib’s hand, it was quite obvious Kimi did not give a shit

When the race started, let’s just say…thank God for those ear plugs

20 V8 engines rumbling together waiting for the red lights to go off, & screaming away towards the first corner…the sound was so unbelievable I could have shat, or shitted…whatever, in my pants. The sound itself was worth the admission price. You have got to hear it LIVE

Button in his overperforming Brawn GP

A lying arrogant wanker called Hamilton in his underperforming McLaren

You would have known by now that the race was later red-flagged because of the rain & looming darkness

Which led to rather bizarre scenes

A picture-perfect moment of the BMW Sauber crew packing up in the pits after the race

1 of the disadvantages of watching an actual Grand Prix live is that we totally had no idea what the hell was happening, & amongst the confusion, the rather horrible commentary (or rather, mumbling) over the grandstand speakers did not help. However, putting aside the red flag & the wait & all, the race was a sublime strategic face-off coupled with spellbinding tactical brilliance, with half of the racing done in the pits. Absolutely insane stuff, & it would have been perfect if the race was eventually restarted, but well, we can’t have it all.

After the race, we had free admission to the Jamiroquai after-race concert held at the helipad area just beside the race track. Corporate hospitality was again being blessed upon us as we had a special viewing stage for corporate ticket holders, along with free food & flow of drinks, beer & wine included. Incredibly, not even the constant downpour could dampen the crowd’s spirits, & Jamiroquai was pretty much in their element. Even though their songs sounded pretty much the same,  they certainly brought the funk to Sepang. The muddy grounds were not very kind to my Porsches though.

View from the corporate stage, Jamiroquai strutting their stuff onstage

Eventually, all good things come to an end, & we discovered that the end of our honeymoon break arrived only too soon on Monday.

Miss Suhana doing her last jig (hangover from Jamiroquai the night before) before returning to her daily executive responsibilities in UTP

Departure back to Tronoh. Rats.

& after 5 days of 5-star treatment, I have to start getting used to the idea of not waking up in the morning to a hot shower & buffet breakfast.

Thanks all for the gorgeous pictures, especially to the DSLRs of Cem & Saf!

The Day I Abandoned Nike for Porsche

I…

…think Danny Gokey should win American Idol. Matt’s cool & soulful, Adam’s vocals are as impressive as they are irritating, Megan is quirky, & Allison has a mature rock voice that’s way beyond her actual age. Mr. “Jamal Malik” – Anoop – is really really likeable, but without an ounce of star quality. Scott & Kris? Their vocals are just too bland & frankly, boring. Gokey’s spectacular performance during the Hollywood group stage, where his group sang “Somebody To Love”, remains unforgettable.

…think I really am in love with AnnaSophia Robb! Race to Witch Mountain was okay, it was a Disney kids kinda movie anyway, & Dwayne Johnson was pretty lovable, but boy, was AnnaSophia a sight to behold. Sure, she didn’t get to spread her acting wings much as compared to her iconic potrayal of Leslie Burke in that delightful Bridge To Terabithia, but she was undeniably as talented as she is utterly gorgeous. Oh, she was really sweet in her “Keep Your Mind Wide Open” music video!

…think the musical arrangement of Coldplay’s “Lovers In Japan” is genius. That middle “goreng” instrumental section is just insane stuff.

…think I need to give Watchmen another chance. However, I am never going near Dragonball Evolution, am afraid of the butchering they gave to my childhood comics.

…think cockroaches will really take over the world one day. (Yesss, I can’t stand them!)

So I was looking for a new pair of shoes for casual walking purposes. Something essentially white in colour, simple & clean with a classic touch, because I needed them to match anything I put on, & I wasn’t going to splash for this new pair, so it had to be reasonably priced. Being a Nike fan since I was born, & getting bored with Adidas who seemingly look like they just recycle the same old designs (as opposed to Nike, which comes out with innovative & fresh designs, even though some may be agreeable or not), I sort of made up my mind to get a pair of Nike Sweet Classics.

As if God had a hand in this, the Nike Classic outlet in 1U was closed for renovation on this fateful shopping day. A quick look at the other Nike outlet produced no fruit as they only had the newer colour combinations, while I was stubbornly refusing to look at anything that was not white in general. As I trudged around in gloom & disappointment, apparently giving up on the search, (again, as if fate intervened) I noticed the Nike Sweet Classic pair I was looking for being displayed at the THREEPOINTsix outlet. Tunggu apa lagi, pecut masuklah I to check out the pair.

As usual, I made it a point to just browse the displayed shoes anyway, regardless whether I have set my mind on a particular model or not. It just sort of gives me a more relieved feeling, kinda like ensuring I really am choosing the best they have to offer. That was when she spotted a particular shoe that caught her eye, held it up to me…& the rest, is history.

Like I said, I am a Nike fan for the longest time I could remember, & the only thing that stopped me from having a whole collection of Nike snickers was my sensible rational mind (& that other thing called money, or lack of it rather). So it would take A LOT, if not impossibly a lot, to swing my choice of shoes to another brand.

In this case, it would take a Porsche.

So after purchasing & currently using 6 pairs of Nikes, my latest 7th pair going into my stable of shoes are a pair of Adidas Porsche Design S2.

This pair fulfilled all of my requirements. Casual, simple, clean, yet understatedly smooth. It was all-white, with the typical 3 Adidas stripes barely noticeable since they only used thin blue outlines rather than solid colours for the stripes, & they were motorsport driving shoes, which is a first for me. That metal plate at the lower side sole with the “Porsche Design” etching muscled in a healthy dose of sporty stylish feel to the whole shoe. The Nike Sweet Classics lay forgotten.

But wait for the real punch-in-the-nuts fact…

The Porsches were going at 40% off its original price of RM379.90! You do the math, & since I don’t mind getting an older model (hey, the older they are, the more classic they are right? They are Adidas Classic anyway), how could I resist such an opportunity? The quirky thing was the sales chick there was apparently trying to dissuade me from purchasing that pair:

“You shouldn’t buy a size 8.5 when you are actually 9, later you will get blisters! You can try the Adidas outlets, they might have the right sizes, & they have wide range of models & colours too.”

That was before she added: “But you wouldn’t get the discount you would get here lah.”

Okay, before I ramble further & sound dangerously close to a bimbo chick in shopping heaven, I would like to state that the fact remains; it would be quite outrageous to sway a Nike fan like me to purchase pure Adidas shoes, so kudos to Porsche for boosting Adidas with design steroids. In any case, I have a sneaky feeling Porsche (okay okay, Adidas too) was meant to be my fateful 7th pair & the deserving one to break my Nike streak. Because, if the Nike Classic outlet was not fortunately closed for renovation works, I would not have arrived at my Porsches. If I hadn’t decided on the Nike Sweet Classics, I would never have spotted them thus ever entered THREEPOINTsix. Of course, if she didn’t have a stroke of genius in noticing the Porsches before me…you get the idea.

I…

…think me likes Porsche! Okaaayyyy, Adidas Porsche Design~.

Josh: “Adidas was named after its creator, Adi Dassler. I didn’t even know that.”

KV: “Lar, even I not Adidas fan also know that.”

Josh: “Oh yea? What about Nike?”

KV: “Nike was named after Goddess of Speed…or Victory. Something like that. Goddess of Victory.”

Josh: “Not so victorious anymore. One of her fans just converted.”

Ain’t converted, but sure am satisfied!

KV recommends Kanye West’s VH1 Storytellers!

Of Slumdogs & Buttons

Quicknote: Anne Hathaway was very, very impressive during the 81st Oscars. Heart-stopping beauty, & astonishing vocals in that opening performance.

“& the Oscar goes to…”

So all the main award shows for movies (& music too) for the year 2008 have been carried out, all results revealed, with the latest during the Academy Awards a few days ago. As usual, I take the opportunities from the nominees’ lists from these shows (notably the Golden Globes & the Oscars) to be exposed to the movies that, either never reached our shores (or in Juno’s case, reached our cinemas a whole bloody year later), or simply I have not heard of before. In other words, without the best picture nomination, I would never have watched (or even be aware of) No Country for Old Men.

This year was no different. During the Golden Globes there was so much hoo-haa about Slumdog Millionaire, while I was staring blankly at the screen with the words “What are these wankers talking about? What slumdog?”.

Thus, with freezing winds inviting themselves into my room through my half-opened windows, a blaring karaoke session from the nearby surau trying in vain to compete with my iTunes to be my accompanying soundtrack during the scripting of this post, & my frequent bowel liquid movements leaving me severely weakened & unable to move around much (accept the regular bullet-speed dashes to the loo), I would like to summarize my reviews on the only 2 movies I am interested in from the best picture nominees’ list of the Academy Awards 2009 (the reviews which I have been postponing intentionally till after the Oscars’ results were revealed).

For the first hour, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button was inclining towards an epic story on the verge of becoming a complete fantasy masterpiece. Poignant & melancholic with touches of delight, I was truly engaged. Pitt’s Benjamin Button could not have been more enigmatic.

Then, at a weary 2 hours & 45 minutes long, what was so beautiful ended with a feeling of “it could have been so so so much greater”. A story about a peculiar little person that ages backwards could have had a journey of so much more fantastic tales in his life (Forrest Gump comes into mind), yet he led a pretty much mundane & pointless life. Don’t get me wrong, I thought the whole movie was still stunning & mesmerizing, but the craving for what it could have been is quite overwhelming. Brad Pitt was very much perfect (& looked perfect too!) for the role, while Cate Blanchett was marvelous wasn’t she? Unfortunately, Benjamin Button lacked a little inspiration & ended up as a movie with beautiful & intimate storytelling that ultimately failed to reach a destination of any significance, when it could have been the greatest epic tale of recent times.

Slumdog Millionaire on the other hand was an extraordinary story of the life of Jamal Malik. This is one rollercoaster ride that will flabbergast you face-on with an euphoric rush of uproarious joy, despair, shock, disbelief & a certain amount of far-fetched awesomeness that delights anyway. Visually dazzling, excellent directing from Boyle, polished camera work execution, an incredible soundtrack by A.R. Rahman, & most importantly outstanding performances by the young unknown cast, all seal this as not only a brilliant masterpiece, but a very refreshing & exhilarating cinematic experience that captures that rare balance of being extremely entertaining yet emotionally resonant. I don’t think I need to say much more about this movie, it left me quite breathless, & it did sweep 8 freaking Oscars.  & that dance scene during the credits is a charming nod to Bollywood. Freida Pinto however looks much more captivating in person…hmmmm.

So there were people asking how Sean Penn could have snagged the Oscar for Best Actor from Mickey Rourke (or even Brad Pitt, for that matter). I thought they should have just bloody gave the award to Ayush Mahesh Khedekar, the cute kid who played the youngest Jamal Malik. That unforgettable scene of him jumping into that enormous pile of shit holding up Amitabh Bachchan’s picture gloriously should have single-handedly gave him the Best Actor award hands-down.

Frankly, at first look I would have expected the old blokes from the Academy to give the Oscar to Benjamin Button, given their fetish for deep thought-provoking drama, rather than the rich joyride feast that was Slumdog.

But I am still convinced they should have given the award to The Dark Knight =).

KV thinks “Thinking of You” is almost as beautiful as Katy Perry’s face…or her pair of weapons of mass ‘distraction’.

Spotted, on the Road…

How could anyone possibly resist those pair of eyes?

Those gorgeous eyes that sparkle ever so seductively in the day, & shine in their full glory at night, ensnaring us dangerously with every of those sexy glitters forming the curves & straight stretches that underline the borders of the whole eye features…

Those elegant eyes that leave you with an orgasmic moan of awe day or night, hopelessly smitten when you glance upon them as they (seemingly) flirt outrageously with you as they pass by…

Today, as I drove along the highways & roads that formed my route from my university to my hometown for the Chinese New Year holidays, there were a fair number of mamahotchicas on the road to wash my eyes upon. Like many, such road drives are often opportunities for me to enjoy salivating at those freaking hot automobiles as they fly pass my own automobile on the highways, looking longingly at them (mostly only their butts by the time I noticed them or their models), dreaming in envy knowing I very well could not possibly own one myself. Following swiftly after the automobile look-over would be the quick & extremely judgmental glance on the vehicle occupants, special attention given to the driver. If the person behind the wheel was a young man, I would go “lucky arse”. A fat old balding man - “rich bastard”. A young teenager - “ahbeng with rich parents”. Hot young chick with oversized shades – “Fuuuyo. Damn I would like a ride on that…uh, car”. & the most stereotyped judgmental glance? Aunty behind the wheel – “Cheh. Sure got rich husband. Or perempuan simpanan of rich fat old balding man”.

Today was an eye-opening experience, & it does not involve Ferraris or Lamborghinis. But before I get into the main star of today, let me speak first of the other supporting casts that were outshone. Spotted, halfway through my journey, was the Mitsubishi Lancer GT. Not one, but two passed me by today. Adding salt to the wound would be the fact that they were both hot blazing red in colour, which was frankly & appropriately, the only paint the Lancer deserves. Now it’s no secret I’m a big admirer of the Lancer’s strong physical designs, where it is one of few cars that boasts equally awesome looks in both its front & rear features, & its fantastic & worthy price considering the segment it is in. Look at those headlamps. The front lamps sort of barks out “Fark you!”, & the rear lamps glare menacingly at you with the same “Fark you!” feeling. But lately there were incidents that really potong-stim‘ed my enthusiasm for the Lancer. First was the fact that the other paints offered aside from the blazing red – silver & black – seriously & significantly reduced the ooomph factor of the Lancer’s garang look. Then I found out a lecturer in my university owned one (not going to elaborate on the WTF feeling of this). The final nail hammered down upon me when our tuan-tuan polis ordered 25 units of the Lancer Evos to be utilized as patrolling units. That one seriously WTF-potong-stim.

But who the hell cares about the Lancer when there were those pair of eyes…

Today was also the first time I saw the new Autobot-ish Honda City on the road. Depan macam transformers celup, belakang macam BMW 3 Series celup.

But who the hell cares about the City when there were those pair of eyes…

Everything was shoved violently aside when, spotted, upon an innocent glance at my rearview mirror,  with a swooping sensation electrifying through my spine, the aforementioned 2 jaw-dropping eyes flirting back at me through the mirror, in the form of the LED daylight running lights of the Audi A4.

Instead of the “Fark you!” feeling of the Lancer headlamps, the Audi A4 LEDs were purring “Hey baby~ I’m gonna make sweeeet lo~oo~ve to you reaaal goooood~ all day~ & all night long~” in the most ridiculously exotic & seductive way, I’m telling you. That A4, gleaming stylishly in stunning white, stayed for a few seconds tagging behind me, before scorching past me on the right. & then it was gone.

I didn’t even bother looking at who was behind the wheel. & you can ask her how expressive my orgasmic moaning was.

Boy those Audi LED daylight running lights are really kicking BMW’s eagle eye lights’ asses.

The visuals included here which I took from the net do no justice whatsoever compared to seeing them on the road for real. I don’t care how many car magazines & reviews have discussed how the 3 Series & C-Class totally outperforms the A4, because this baby A4 is by far one of the most awesome (albeit in an understated way) looking eye-catching 4-door saloon in the market at the moment.

Maybe when I see more & more of them on the road my current craze would dissipate slightly, but I guess sometimes, Ferraris, Lambos, SLRs & Audi R8s are not the only hot babes on the road that can snatch my heart away.

KV’s Picks for 2008

Quickie: Paramore is featured in CSI Las Vegas, Episode 9 of Season 9!

It’s that time of the year again! The time to reflect on the ups & downs & rights & lefts of the past 12 months, while looking forward to, & taking advantage of, the start of an incoming new year to make inconcrete resolutions in the hope of prematurely reducing our hopeless guilt. Well, this bloke here is immersed in a current mood to come up with completely biased lists to summon up the best of what the year has offered from the entertainment scene. Of course I’m no insider when it comes to the La-la Land industry, so do kindly receive this as something coming from an average everyday dude that just happens to enjoy indulging in movies, music, idiot-box-offerings, & of course (just like any other hot-blooded male species) mighty hot women. Let us not deprive ourselves further of this pleasure, let’s roll out my list of heavily-biased favourite picks from whatever I have seen, listened, enjoyed & been repulsed by for the year 2008.

FILM

Movies of the Year: The Dark Knight, Juno & Iron Man

These 3 (in a particular order) sprang into mind without even the slightest of hesitation. The Dark Knight boasted a great cast performance & an even impossibly greater plot, Juno was the surprise of the year with its cleverly witty take on teenage pregnancy, & Iron Man was supremely satisfying.

Edge-of-your-seat Action Movie: Cloverfield

Love it, or hate it. I don’t care how many people across the globe puked while watching this, because my 2 times in the cinema in the shaky hands of Hud were easily the most mind-blowing, cardiac-arrest-inducing, ball-busting sessions I had this year.

Romance Movie: Definitely, Maybe

With supremely hot gorgeous leading ladies & a darling Abigail Breslin, not even a wimpy Ryan Reynolds could dampen this sweet warm tale narrated with a clever twist.

Comedic Movies: Charlie Wilson’s War, Tropic Thunder & Be Kind Rewind

Since I’ve already mentioned Juno in an earlier category, these 3 stood out most. Charlie Wilson’s War delighted in its light-heart political storyline enthused by hilarious dialogues, it was fun to see the stars making a fool of themselves in Tropic Thunder, & Be Kind Rewind was an amusingly heart-warming ride all the way.

Saddest Cry-your-heart-out Movie: Grace Is Gone

The performance of his life from John Cusack along with an impressive Shélan O’Keefe. This movie’s poignant beauty will stay with you for a long, long time.

Animation Movie: WALL-E

Unique, richly entertaining, touching & big-hearted, along with glorious detailed animations, WALL-E rises above the rest to end up as an animation masterpiece. Everybody together now, Eeevvveee-aaaahh.

Musical Movie: Once

I quote: “Captures the rare chemistry & unforced artistry of two people finding music as well as personal harmony together & we are lucky enough to be there to watch it.” Couldn’t have summed this untraditional musical up better.

Most Over-hyped Movie: Twilight

So-so movie with sizzling chemistry from the leads but horribly laughable special effects.

Most Under-rated Movie: Traitor

A well-paced & extremely complex thriller that leaves viewers with a subjective but realistic afterthought.

Biggest Disappointment Movie: The X-Files: I Want To Believe

The only positive thing about this anti-climatic pancit-ter is seeing Mulder & Scully together onscreen again, making us believe that their legacy (& only that) lives on.

Most Impressive Performance in a Movie: Amy Adams

Adams was the perfect choice for Giselle in Enchanted, & gave her trademark cheerful, sunny, all-round performance that probably saved the entire movie. No easy feat to make a real-life Disney princess convincing!

Hottest Movie Chicks: Anne Hathaway (Agent 99, Get Smart), Camila Belle (Evolet, 10,000 BC) & Mila Kunis (Rachel Jansen, Forgetting Sarah Marshall)

A super-hot super-agent, blue eyes to kill, & a very sexy raspy voice.

Film Soundtrack: The Dark Knight, Hans Zimmer & James Newton Howard

Simply stunning, gloriously dark & really, quite spectacular.

Song from a Movie: “Falling Slowly” from Once, Glen Hansard & Markéta Irglová

It was beautiful from the moment they sang in the movie first time, & for its simple melody with powerful raw emotion, it sure deserved the Oscar it won.

TELEVISION

Series of the Year: Bones

Very enjoyable, & a great relief sometimes when you don’t have to strain your brain too much while watching a series. The strength lies in the chemistry & performance of the 2 leads, Booth & Brennan, as well as a very entertaining supporting cast.

Most Disappointing Series: Heroes Season 3

The story is going down the jamban, & almost every character (especially Suresh, Hiro & Claire) are getting seriously annoying.

Hottest TV Characters: Lily van der Woodsen (Gossip Girl) & Temperance “Bones” Brennan (Bones)

1 hot mama who is hotter than her hot daughter, & 1 hot female  forensic anthropologist who is obsessed with skeletal remains. Whoa.

MUSIC

Single of the Year: “That’s What You Get”, Paramore

I can’t stop playing this song! Lo-o-ove it!

Album of the Year: Viva La Vida or Death and All His Friends, Coldplay

Some fresh & more muscular musical arrangements but still with a little of the old Coldplay shine soaring through those anthemic stadium-rock rhythms make this album an undisputed winner.

Video of the Year: “Hallelujah”, Paramore

I told you this list was biased, *grin*. But seriously, this is the perfect Paramore video, furiously interweaving various live & behind-the-scenes clips of the band doing what they do best, performing live.

Surprising Hey-that’s-pretty-darn-good Songs: “Stay”, Estrella & “Gravity”, Sara Bareilles

Estrella deserves their radio success, “Stay” is catchy & simply brilliant (a big hurrah for local music!), & Bareilles’ vocals & musical astuteness shine through in that last track of her album.

Favourite Live Concerts on DVD: Hillsong Live – Saviour King, Avril Lavigne – Live from the Roxy Theatre, &  freaking anything from Paramore live

Brooke Fraser is spectacular in Saviour King Live, Avril was surprisingly good in her subtle Roxy Theatre acoustic concert, & all I want for Christmas is The Final Riot! DVD from Paramore.

Favourite New Artists: Katy Perry & Kate Nash

Katy Perry’s flair & confidence blazes through her sassy & feisty songs, while Kate Nash deserves her skyrocketing success for her exuberant & refreshing beats, charming melodies & that cockney accent.

Over-rated Artists: The Jonas Brothers

I can’t stand their vocals. Enough! I give up.

Most Played Songs on My iTunes: A tie between “Live Your Life”, T.I. feat. Rihanna & “Decode”, Paramore

The official count recorded on iTunes is 48 each. Rihanna’s vocals give that extra oomph to “Live Your Life”, & Paramore, with incredibly outstanding vocals from Hayley, has written a soundtrack song that Twilight is unworthy of.

Most Annoying Replays on Radio: “Soulja Boy”, Crank Dat & “Bubbly”, Colbie Caillat

All those damned “Ohhhhhh!”s from “Soulja Boy” just make me wanna crash my car, & frankly, anything from the ridiculously sugary Caillat is getting on my nerves.

& FINALLY…

Women of the Year: Hayley Nichole Williams & Zooey Claire Deschanel

Yes, I made up this last category for pointless fun. Let’s face it, it is Hayley’s awesome vocals & her bubbly & energetic personality (oh, her flaming hair too) that give Paramore that extra edge, making her an awesome lead vocalist without completely overshadowing her band-mates, instead sharing with them excellent musical & onstage chemistry. Zooey, whom I love for her endearing deadpan onscreen acting & slightly eccentric fashion sense, continues to display her soaring talent through the debut album of She & Him, lending her distinctively charming voice as one half of the duo, that same voice some of us fell in love with in the movie Elf. & really, could you resist those pair of eyes?

Thus come to an end this list, that really serves to please the author himself only, & the year 2008, which began with our former Health Minister ejaculating in humping in a DVD & ending with our Prime Minister announcing his  scheduled premature ejection retirement from the government of this country in 2009. Cheery new year everyone!

Blimey, A Tag!

Pak polis dah beli Lancer Evo so they can catch up with criminals. Now they can be bribed faster than you can say “Settle berape?”!

What the heck, I’m responding to a tag! Courtesy of Emo. Actually, I did not plan to publish this, but then this sucker who calls himself Joshua dared to me do it, so here it is. Breaking the habit indeed. People, this is a temporary departure from what is normally expected of KV’s standards, so I hope you’d all forgive me. Bullshit ahead; you have been warned.

1. How old are you?
Agak-agak around 22 years, 10 months & 20 days old.

2. Are you single?
Nay, am plural.

3. In what age do you think you’ll get married?
Hm. Before my billions of Michael Phelps’es start reducing I hope.

4. Do you think you’ll be marrying the person you are with now?
When I was a kid, I was with Beauty from Beauty & the Beast. 10 years ago I was with Liv Tyler. 5 years back I was with Jessica Alba, while juggling affairs with Avril Lavigne & Kristin Kreuk. A year ago I was with Hayley Williams, until I met & had a fling with Mila Kunis. I’m back with Hayley, but does it look like I’m gonna marry the person I am with now when I don’t even know who I will be with tomorrow?

5. If not, who do you want to marry?
Hayley Williams. Just to see the look on Joshua’s face.

6. Do you want a garden/beach or traditional wedding?
Bitch wed…I mean beach wedding. Wait a sec. The beaches here stink. Garden. Definitely garden!

7. Your ideal motive?
To make love. No wait, just the love. Big difference eh?

8. Where do you plan to go on a honeymoon?
Paris…Switz…& anywhere else she wants to go.

9. How many guests do you think you will invite?
Jessica, Jessica, Avril, Liv, Mila, Jennifer, Jennifer, Keira…a couple more perhaps.

10. Do you want an extravagant or simple wedding?
A wedding is never simple, even when it’s meant to be one.

11. Do you want the traditional vows or something you’d make up on your own?
Of course something I’d crap on my own!

12. How many layers of cake do you want?
There’s cake? Can’t I have a big-ass Cinnabon or Roti Boy instead…

13. Do you prefer having your reception at a hotel or simple place?
The hotel is going to be for what’s gonna happen after the wedding…at night.

14. When do you want to get married, morning or evening?
The eve to the ning.

15. You’d rather have your reception outdoors or indoors?
Tengoklah forecast hujan ke tak…

16. Do you like a grand entrance for your groom?
Uh, I’d be more concerned about the fact that I’m marrying a groom.

17. Name the song/tune you’d want to play in your wedding.
The entire soundtrack of “Pride & Prejudice” by Dario Marianelli. & special vocal performances by Hayley herself, & guest appearances by Mindy Smith, Brooke Fraser & Lisa Hannigan.

18. Are u a morning person or a night person?
I am Kevin by day & Wong Loug Sung by night!

19. Do you want a solemn ceremony or a light one?
Light & sweet.

20. Describe your ideal husband/wife.
Her last name should be Williams & her first name should be Hayley.

21. Do you prefer fine dining or just the normal fork&spoon/knife?
Fine dining also requires fork, spoon & knife.

22. Champagne or red wine?
Everything. On the rocks.

23. Honeymoon right after the wedding or days after the wedding?
Up to her loh…

24. Money or household items?
Depends. If anyone wants to get me a 70-inch plasma flatscreen & a Bose sound system, feel free to do so.

25. Who will pay for the bills?
Hah! This one ah, you ask the chicks, they sure say share share la, but everyone knows what will really happen!

26. Are you ready for a married life?
I’m afraid of that disease Russell Peters mentioned; Onegina.

27. Do you think you will still be a virgin until you get married?
Hey, someone told me no one is a virgin coz life f**ks us up!

28. Will you always be true to your wife/husband?
Wife slash husband? A wife can’t be a husband at the same time, especially in bed.

29. How many kids would you like to have?
Wait I ask. Angelina, how many more kids would you want?

30. A new house for a newly wed or an old one?
An old…Victorian mansion in Europe…

31. What kind of cuisine would you like for your wedding?
When it comes to food, she da boss.

32. Will you record your honeymoon in a CD or DVD?
Have you not learned anything from the Pamela Anderson-Tommy Lee episode? Oh wait, you’re not talking about that kinda honeymoon…

33. Whose wedding plan would you like to know next?
Joshua, now that I’ve taken Hayley. What’s your plan B? Wahahahhaa, sucker.

This is what happens when I’ve stayed too long in Mentakab during holidays…

Chemistry!

Heyo, it has been some time since I actually reviewed anything in particular. Anyway, I was just watching the latest episode of Bones on my laptop, & during this particular tender moment between the 2 leads the thought of writing about “Chemistry!” blazed through my ears into my brain. By chemistry, I mean that invisible but sizzling spark & connection (be it love or hate) between characters in any ways on the big screen or the idiot box that we just love to watch & tune into week by week, that unmistakable but inexplainable force that just seems to be ever present between 2 or more characters in a show (or any other similar presentation) that blows off light bulbs, sends tingling sensations down your spine, warms your heart to bits & at times, will “menaikkan your bulu roma”, sometimes becoming the only reason to watch the show. So, armed with plenty of time back at home during these holidays, here is a round-up of my favourites for on-screen chemistry from the top of my head, coming from whatever that I have watched & come across so far, in any random aspects & categories (not just romantically or sexually-lah).

:: Noah Calhoun & Allie Hamilton from The Notebook ::

Ryan Gosling & Rachel McAdams

The 2nd couple that flew into mind (after the X-Files leads), Gosling & McAdams (who became real lovebirds later, then broke-up) brought Noah & Allie’s magnificent story to life in the most moving of ways. McAdams in particular gave Allie that extra burst of enigmatic energy & spunk, & together with Noah’s average-Joe-with-a-big-heart, became the leads of easily 1 of the most heartwarming, gushy, cheesy & beautiful romance story ever brought to the big screen. Tissues, please.

:: Tony Stark & Pepper Potts from Iron Man ::

Robert Downey Jr. & Gwyneth Paltrow

This was the only thing Iron Man had that was missing from all other superhero movies – serious sexual tension & chemistry between the hero & the female lead. Everyone knows how well Downey Jr. fitted into Stark’s shoes, & boy did Paltrow look mighty fine as Stark’s most trusted aide. Every scene having these 2 together gave me serious goose bumps, from Pepper welcoming Stark back at the air base, to the ever endearing “heart”-replacement scene.

:: Danny Ocean & Rusty Ryan from Ocean’s 11, 12 & 13 ::

George Clooney & Brad Pitt

Clooney has great charisma, Pitt is smooth all the way. They finish each other’s lines, know each other’s thoughts & moves, & their banters were extremely smart & witty. But what’s best is both did not try to hog all the glory; resulting in both being very slick leads without taking away the entire “Ocean’s” ensemble feel of the movie. Suffice to say these 2 are the coolest duo in the list. Man that laughing scene in Ocean’s Twelve still leaves me in stitches.

:: Bella Swan & Edward Cullen from Twilight ::

Kristen Stewart & Robert Pattinson

I probably added this because I just watched the movie recently, which was so-so & rather bland (but with some excruciatingly horrible special effects & camera work), but seriously I could not deny the burning blaze Bella & Edward had for each other. Nothing better but to pair an awkward quiet teen (played perfectly by the most expressionless actress ever, Kristen Stewart) & a very beautiful male “vegetarian” vampire (Pattinson was brilliant by the way) together for a little romancing, eh?

:: Kale & Ronnie from Disturbia ::

Shia LaBeouf & Aaron Yoo

I do not know why these 2 dudes came to mind, but when I recalled why Disturbia was such an entertaining thriller, 1 of the main factors I reasoned out was the hilarious antics & friendship of Kale & Ronnie (what a great comedic turn from Yoo!). Pop in a hot chick in between & tadaaa~, the movie went on to become a surprise hit.

:: Michael Clayton & Karen Crowder from Michael Clayton ::

George Clooney & Tilda Swinton

Damn was this Oscar-winning film a thriller. Clooney is excellent as a “fixer” & Swinton gave an intensely edgy performance as a desperate corporate attorney, & it was satisfyingly stunning to watch how Clooney verbally walloped Swinton’s ass in that final climatic scene.

:: Harry Potter, Ron Weasley & Hermione Granger from the Harry Potter movies ::

Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint & Emma Watson

Say whatever you want about the Potter movies, it does not change the fact that the 3 leads have done an amazing job in bringing Harry, Ron & Hermione to life. We love to see them together, & we’ve seen them grow from kiddie cuties to mature blokes & a hottie (& a much more convincing & improving Radcliffe). Comparing especially to the irritating Narnia kids, this trio certainly are a joy to watch.

:: Fox Mulder & Dana Scully from The X-Files ::

David Duchovny & Gillian Anderson

Do I even need to elaborate? We all knew this was going to be included in every “on-screen chemistry” list, & deservingly, Mulder & Scully is the mother of all couples in a TV series, ever & ever & ever & ever after, & a perfect example of a believer against a skeptic. Romantic or platonic? We all know, but I guess the truth is still out there. & yeah, seeing Mulder & Scully together again was the only positive thing out of the dull latest movie, The X-Files: I Want To Believe.

:: Temperance ‘Bones’ Brennan & Seeley Booth from Bones ::

Emily Deschanel & David Boreanaz

The best since Mulder-Scully & my favourite duo at the moment, this is another classic example of 2 clashing egos having a ridiculously strong sexual tension & electrifying chemistry. Deschanel is extremely convincing as the lonely & cynical anthropologist, & pairing her with the comedic & charming Booth made this otherwise-quite-generic crime series 1 of my most loved series. & the 2 certainly are getting more & more comfortable with each other…more please! Oh, the rest of the cast are not too bad either, especially the brilliant & quirky squints in Zack & Hodgins.

:: Blair Waldorf & Chuck Bass from Gossip Girl ::

Leighton Meester & Ed Westwick

For many of the women (& men too), Chuck Bass is the only reason why Gossip Girl is worth watching. & really, could we ever get enough of the slick & manipulative games Blair & Chuck play, whether on others or on each other? We know they love each other, & the sexual attraction between them is scorching hot. Oh yes, we know we love them too.

:: Lorelai & Rory Gilmore from Gilmore Girls ::

Lauren Graham & Alexis Bledel

They are the perfect mother-daughter team, the mother the lively bubbly one & the daughter the more mature & often rational one. These 2 were inseparable, Bledel & Graham even looked dazzlingly alike! So what if this was a chick film, I’m still having a hard time getting over the anguish felt over the ending of this series. No more bullet-speed interchanges of dialogues, witty & sarcastic banter, no more Friday night dinners…

:: Clark Kent & Lana Lang from Smallville Season 1-3 ::

Tom Welling & Kristin Kreuk

I’ve stopped regularly watching Smallville at Season 4 (despite a refreshing introduction of a voluptuous Erica Durance as Lois Lane). Frankly Smallville always had ridiculous plots, but who could resist the intense love & chemistry of Clark & the gorgeous Lana in the first few seasons? Disappointingly Lana has morphed into a horrible character in the later seasons, & though now Clark & Lois have some real spark going on, the glowing & unspoken love Clark & Lana had in Season 1 & 2 remained most memorable.

:: Jack Shepard & Kate Austen from Lost ::

Matthew Fox & Evangeline Lilly

Though these 2 started off really well, this is another case of “will they bloody ever get together?”. It is however saddening to see Kate turning from the hottest criminal fugitive ever to a rather confused slut, but still, these two look really good together, & still sends sparks flying whenever they gaze into each other’s eyes.

:: Ephram Brown & Amy Abbott from Everwood ::

Gregory Smith & Emily VanCamp

The intense drama between Ephram & his dad aside, we watched in agony as Ephram & Amy dwelled through all the ups & downs before finally ending up together in the season finale. The odd but beguilingly sweet connection that Ephram & Amy shared made this series even more poignant & beautiful than it already was. Everybody together now – aawwwwwww~.

:: Liz Parker & Max Evans from Roswell ::

Shiri Appleby & Jason Behr

Liz Parker was by far 1 of the sweetest & most endearing female characters ever in any TV series back then, & Jason Behr put his expressionless & monotonous personality to full use to play a lovesick alien stranded on Earth. Don’t worry, despite the human-alien circumstances, there was a happy ending after all.

:: Hayley Williams & Josh Farro from Paramore ::

Okay okay I just slipped this in at the very end because I’m experiencing a Paramore-mania at the moment, but damn, this two write good music together, sound really good together, & if that’s not enough, they even look good together on stage leading the rest of the band! Josh’s quiet demeanor & silent focus on his guitars is really quite the perfect match to Hayley’s bursting energy & edgy personality. Definitely my favourite musical pair-up since the now-separated Avril Lavigne-Evan Taubenfeld & Amy Lee-Ben Moody. The fans love to see them get together too, check out the many fantasy-love sites about them online.

KV is listening to Paramore’s “Decode” from the Twilight soundtrack on iTunes.

Rays of Sun, Days of Fun…

The July 04 Unity initiative continued, this time in the splendor of UTP’s mother nature, images from under the sun…

Well, sometimes it is best to just let the pictures do the talking… =)

Let’s Go for a Walk; of Unity…

When I first stepped into this university, I thought I was in for hell.

The dudes & dudettes in my July 2004 (0704) batch proved me wrong.

Nobody told me there were chicks in an engineering university!

The food in UTP is crap, & the only time you can find us all in this café is when they are not serving flies…sorry, food.

& the cellphone reception in some areas here sucks balls, so we make do with what we have.

In UTP, the splendor of nature is always close to us.

So we always give back to Mother Nature, whether individually…

…or in a collaborative effort.

Close proximity between male & female is widely prohibited here…

But really, why the hell should we care?

While men learn to jump ahead of the curve…

The women strive with pose…uh, I mean poise.

But no matter how absurd some of the things we do…

Or the different engineering courses we are in, we still bond with one another in some ways…

& at the end of the day, we blend in together, naturally.

We love to check out asses…

& we are damn proud of our own asses.

Some of us never seem to gain weight…

While the rest of us, including yours truly, never seemed more prosperous.

Everyday we ascend the stairs towards lecture halls in hope of gaining a step closer to preparing ourselves for working life…

…pointing ourselves in the right direction…

…hoping to find our place in this big world.

We learn to work together as a team in pursuit of excellence…

& sometimes, it comes down to our very own selves.

It matters not our different levels of background, for there is a place for everyone.

& it’s often each one of us, the people, that make everything a little more unforgettable, memorable…

You may hate the place, but hey, you gotta love the people.

~.~.~.~.~.~

KV gives full credit to the pioneers of the entire July 04 Unity concept & movement, the photographers & the candid/skodeng photographers during the walkabout, & of course, all you July 04 UTPians, for giving KV something not only to pour words upon, but to cherish for decades to come.

The Avril Awesomeness: Live in KL

My happy ending arrived after all.

After the absurd occurrences leading up to this event that included some of Malaysia’s most idiotic circumsized dickheads (forgive the pun) & a dead-undead car, 29th August could not have come soon enough. Finally, the day I’ve been waiting, since the delightful tunes of “Complicated” first knocked on my ears 6 years back, is here. The Avril awesomeness has landed.

Yea, & that other thing, Merdeka.

Part I: The Wait & the Shit Before…

It was a wonderful feeling, going to Stadium Merdeka on a Merdeka weekend, but not to celebrate the country’s backwards growth in 51 years of independence. Joshua, Chris, Chee Fai & I arrived at the stadium at approximately 4.45pm, before cramming in the queue for the RM338 Red Zone entrance under the intense heat & sun light. Hotlink & Maxis were having massive promotions & advertisements, while Belinda C with the 8TV crew were going around acting cute & interviewing people with pink ties or pink shirts. Oh, despite the reported protests, we spotted nothing of that nature, only the armies of FRU personnel & vehicles as well as the police patrolling the area.

Observing the “no camera or recording devices” warning, we stuffed our digi cams in our crotch zone, the waistline of our jeans being the fastener & of course our own trusted P as base support. The doors of the stadium opened at 7.30pm, & with us already sweating & exhausted from the lining-up-under-sun, added with digicams securely positioned in such a way that they gave the impression that we each had a massive erection, it was no easy task to run towards the stage to get a strategic location. In the end, we all got ourselves the best spot possible, center & a row away from the gates that separated our Red Zone & the VIP box.

Wait a minute, the VIP box? To our horror, we discovered that the RM338 Red Zone wasn’t as close to the stage as we hoped, thanks to the enormous space nearest to the stage dedicated to undeserving VIPs. The VIP box, situated in what usually was the mosh pit area for standard rock concerts, not only took over the entire area directly in front of the stage, it was filled with chairs! What the fark are chairs doing right in front of an Avril Lavigne stage?! Galaxy, you moron organizers. To make matters worse for us, as the VIPs slowly arrived & landed their colossal butts in assigned seats, we, the die-hard fans who forked out for the most expensive ticket we could get our hands on, observed in complete agony that some of the VIPs consisted of apek uncles, uninterested Datuks & Datins, & overdressed Ah Lians & Ah Bengs who didn’t even seem to know who Avril was.

The situation worsened when, after soaking ourselves under the intense sun for so long, rain started to fall just after we entered into the stadium. Then the organizers started handing out colourful garbage plastic bags that were designed as rain coats for all of us to wear. Great, we were already going through two contrastingly extreme weathers, & we found ourselves barricaded behind a box full of very important asses, now we looked like multi-coloured thrash. After playing a set of annoyingly repetitive Avril clips & advertisements, the lights finally dimmed at 9pm, but not for Avril. Instead a Michael-Jackson-wannabe dude hopped out & performed Maroon 5’s “This Love”, complete with some photostated MJ moves. I had no idea why he was the opening act, nor did I know or care who the hell he actually was, but it felt something like Colbie Caillat opening for Metallica. I was the first to shout “WE WANT AVRIL!” after the dude finished the last lines of “This Love”. Thankfully, the dude relieved us of our misery as he left after that one song.

Part II: The Awesomeness Arrives…

I’m telling you, the wait was pure anguish. Legs were sore, & it did not help that Joshua kept complaining like a girl about his back pain. But everything was forgotten (& almost forgiven) when the band finally stepped out & churned out a warming up session, before finally kicking off the tunes of “Girlfriend”. At 9.15pm, with the crowd completely exploding in joy, Avril Lavigne Whibley emerged & skipped out onto the stage.

Right at that moment, I was almost shocked in disbelief, overwhelmed with a strange concoction of confused feelings that included me wanting to shout in joy, cry & die at the same time, very much unable to grasp the fact that I am actually watching the petite Avril, the Avril Joshua & I worshipped in high school, in person. But just as she hit the first chorus, I finally regained awareness & before long, supported by my poorly weakening knees & ankles, I was jumping like a 5-year-old starstruck maniac along to the “Hey hey you you!”s.

Part III: Anything But Ordinary…

Okay, I will try to push aside my over-biased opinions & the complete euphoria of seeing my highschool idol live, while trying to rationalize the performance. TOO SHORT would be the first two words that come into mind, as she rocked 17 songs in total in 1 hour & 15 minutes. The good thing is we felt it was too quick simply because we were having the time of our lives. Avril’s singing was flawless, & the band was excellent but knew their place well, which was to back & support Avril. Musically however, the overall sound came out as imbalanced, with the bass drum swallowing everything up & the lead guitar barely noticeable. I probably expected too much, since this was after all a big-ass open-air concert. I was most excited to see Jim McGorman who was on rhythm guitar; he was most popular for being part of the house band for Rock Star: Supernova, while Steve Fekete was the latest lead guitarist, replacing Devin Bronson (& before that, Evan Taubenfeld). There was no doubt who the real star was that night, & the crowd lapped up every one of Avril’s antics. Avril looked as hot as ever, even with curly hair (though deep down, I might have preferred to see the classic straight-hair), but what I did not expect was how bloody adorable she actually was! With the cheekiest grins & smiles flashed all the time, she pranced & skipped around like the happiest being in the world. Gone are the emo-days of “Let Go” & “Under My Skin”. As she performed most of the songs from her latest album (which I do not quite approve of, because it made the concert too pop-ish), I was quite dissatisfied with the meager number of tracks chosen from the 1st two albums. We sang our hearts out to favourites like “My Happy Ending”, “I’m With You”, “Complicated”, & “When You’re Gone”, but songs that she skipped like “Tomorrow”, “Nobody’s Home”, “Nobody’s Fool” & “Mobile” were sorely missed. One thing about singing along to Avril’s songs is that her pitch certainly doesn’t suit the male normal pitch range; we either had to scream really high (& completely off tune) or really low (with reduced volume).

Part IV: The Best Damn Moments, & Some Not-So…

Here comes my favourite part, the most memorable moments of the concert. I think I’ve already mentioned how incredibly hot she was that night. But my favourite moment (something all 4 of us agreed on) has to be when a pink baby grand piano was brought out, & Avril played & sang her heart out to a stripped-down version of “When You’re Gone” on it. With the spotlight focusing only on her & the piano, it was the single most beautiful moment of the night. The momentum was continued when right after that, she launched into the melancholic “Innocence”, & then performed the next few songs (“Losing Grip” &“Hot”) with her pink sparkling acoustic guitar, backed by 2 other acoustic guitars. That chain of stripped-down acoustic performances was by far the best agenda of the night. Following in a close second was how she sent us all to the point of complete orgasm when she playfully conducted the crowd to a scream-silent-scream sequence. When she raised her arms, we all screamed madly, & when she lowered her arms, we had to keep silent. Of course remaining silent at some points was impossible, to which she mischievously put her knuckles on the sides of her waist in mock displeasure. The whole sequence finally ended when she raised her arms high up, shaking her hands, soaking in the complete glory of our ecstasy. The smile on her face at the moment – priceless; she was so damn cute I could have died a happy man right there right then. Finally, Avril playing the drums while singing “Runaway”, that was a real gem.

Despite that, her interaction with the audience was kept to a minimum, which I largely suspect is due to the unresponsive VIPs sitting their fat asses down right in front of the stage. She also skipped all the swear & bad words in her songs, but WE sure as hell didn’t. I remember how loud the crowd barked “SHIT” during the “All the SHIT that you do” line in “My Happy Ending”. I swear I saw Avril almost grinning in glee. I also got a strange feeling that Avril gave a very controlled performance. She minimized the screams & energetic jumps, resorting to mostly skipping & prancing around the stage instead. The same pair of jeans (with the skull on her right knee) was worn throughout the night, only changing her tops (the last red hooded sweater was kick-ass!), & at one point we noticed how she sort of tugged down her top. Go figure. The flow of the arrangement was not the best at times; I especially found the break-dance routine by her back-up dancers (twice!) to be awkwardly irksome, & I feel the Lil’ Mama remix of “Girlfriend” has to be axed from her track list.

“Sk8er Boi” was appropriately selected as her last encore song, & I jumped like the ground was on fire to the tune. Agonizingly, she did not stay long for goodbyes, only giving us a quick wave & a thank you before disappearing backstage, concluding the first stop of her The Best Damn Asian Tour at 10.30pm. Josh & I stared in disbelief, that just like that, our Avril came & left. We screamed our lungs out for her to come back, but she never reappeared.

Part V: The Shit that Happened…

Avril was awesome; there is no doubt about that. There were however some really bad bits that night (that had nothing to do with her). Between organizers Galaxy & Hotlink, I damn whoever who structured the crowd zone arrangement to hell for what was possibly the worse standing & seating arrangement in recent eons. The seated VIP box is a complete embarrassment & fiasco, & it prevented us, the die-hard fans, from fully soaking in the experience. As if that wasn’t enough, the VIPs didn’t even seem enthusiastic, & were already standing up to leave even before “Sk8er Boi” ended! Fark all of you man. Joshua was observing the apek tua who was sitting at the left side in the VIP area, & noticed how the stupid apek tua was so unresponsive & just sat crossed-arms throughout the entire concert! Unbelievable shit, we were so angry at this particular apek tua that the only way we could ever forgive him is if he actually died of heart attack, thus explaining why he was so impassive. I do pity those who bought the free-standing RM268 & RM168 ticks, since we in the RM338 zone were already feeling disappointed with our location.

Another thing we 4 guys experienced that night was this creature thingy called BWBs, or Bitch With Boobs. Now before you girls get all angry about this, I’m not referring to women, I’m referring a specific breed that night who, from behind, tried their very best in “boobing” their way through the crowd to get as front as possible. As the 4 of us were among those nearest to the front, Joshua, who was nearest to me, was among the first to experience “boobing”. Let me try to explain to you how “boobing” works. A BWB would first try to force one boob in between the people in front of her by thrusting forward her chest. Being the gentlemen we usually were, we would of course try to avoid the poking boob, & just as we did that, before we even realized it, a second boob will appear, following swiftly the first boob. & just as the pair of boobs have gained access to the next level, the entire body of the BWB would of course follow. The procedure would then be repeated from row to row until finally the BWB reaches the front. Of course, a particular BWB failed in her quest as Chee Fai, who was a being a complete non-gentleman at the RIGHT time, elbowed her boobs backwards.

Part VI: The Aftermath…

Oh…guess who I finally met after the concert?

Angel, now our Miss Malaysia Tourism Metropolitan 2008, haha, it’s been a long time, as always. Gel was actually still contemplating whether to come to the concert till the day itself, apalah; until I had to bug her to come. But it came not as a surprise that Avril indeed does reunite some of us that were ardent friends during our teenage years, which was another wonder to marvel at that night. Also, it was an endearing sight to see some kids who came dressed in self-drawn Avril t-shirts.

After all, on that night, Avril came & gave me something to remember & cherish for the rest of my life. Though not musically her best (as compared to her awesome acoustic performance in the Roxy Theatre), & despite the lingering thought of how it could have been better, her fantastic performance still left us all with a rapturous sense of exhilaration, a dream fulfilled, & of course, incredibly sore knees & ankles.

Heck, I’m already missing her.

Avril Lavigne sang:

1. Girlfriend

2. I Can Do Better

3. Complicated

4. My Happy Ending

5. I’m With You

6. I Always Get What I Want

7. When You’re Gone

8. Innocence

9. Hot

10. Losing Grip

11. Everything Back But You

12. Runaway

13. The Best Damn Thing

14. I Don’t Have To Try

15. He Wasn’t

Encore:

16. Girlfriend (Remix)

17. Sk8er Boi

The Car that Died…then Wouldn’t Die

We’ve all heard of cars that failed to start. But have you heard of a car that could not turn off?

This is the 11-year-old “Hero” that has served my family faithfully & well. It has been through some turbulent times (but never critical), & has always came up on top, thanks to the intensive care my family, & now myself, always showered generously (& appropriately) upon it. Its ownership was partially handed over to yours truly only late last year, mainly to ferry himself around during his internship stint (working in Mercedes-Benz doesn’t mean a company car comes along with the package!), & now, to accompany the youngest Wong son when back in university.

Despite being extremely attentive to its condition, needs, & always keeping it as clean as possible, today was the first time my Proton Hero failed on me. The signs were there days before, when the alarm rang out from nowhere. Then, the car battery died. My roommate (Edwin) & I decided to purchase a new one & changed it ourselves. Since both of us did our internship with German companies, we were too big-headed or egoistic to let some mechanic change the battery for us.

The next sequence of events proved we were merely idiotic assholes.

Upon fasting on the new battery & respective terminals under a heavy downpour of rain, I savoured the sound of the engine rev as I turned the key in the ignition. Easy, job done. Or so we thought. As I turned off the ignition…the engine kept running. I was flabbergasted in disbelief, while the more idiotic Edwin didn’t believe that I had already turned the key to off. I pulled out the key…& remarkably the engine remained humming, almost mockingly. Wow, I mean, wtf?!. Ed & I stared at each other, pondering how completely idiotic we looked. Waliao, blazing knickers…now I can actually just drive the car around without the key in the ignition. What a bloody awesome accomplishment. Now I can stop the car in the most unceremoniously un-macho-est of ways, by keeping in 1st gear & releasing the clutch, thus leaving the car to jerk forward & die off like it just got humped in the ass by a certain someone who won the Permatang Pauh seat.

It wasn’t long before we ended back at the mechanic shop, my car being driven without the key in the ignition, bringing a whole new meaning to the term “keyless entry”. Damn gaya man, wished Top Gear could have seen this. Oh, how stupid I must have sounded when trying to explain this miracle to the mechanic: “Boss, my car just now can’t start right. Uh…now it can’t stop.”

Unable to identify the source of the problem after checking through the alternator, starter, fuse box & relay box, the shop contacted an Ah Beng Wire-man from a nearby shop. The Ah Beng came & raped…I mean, stripped down my car interior to bits, checking every single wire & socket for any possible cross-contact that led to the car draining the battery continuously all the time. After a thorough process of perogolan, he finally hit jackpot.

Ah Beng: “Ahhhh. Neh! It’s the hehcartlaitsweet.”

KV : “Huh? What ah?”

Ah Beng: “The hehcartaitsweet. Hehcart!”

KV : “Heh-what (the f**k)?”

Ah Beng : “Nehhh, the hehcartlait ah. Below the ehkonsweet.”

KV : “Oh. Hazard light switch.”

The Ah Beng charged me a significantly high price for the replacement of that damned component, but I was desperate, & I need my Hero back so I could get my ass to KL for Avril. Good thing it was nothing serious in the end, & the Hero lives to serve another day. Today however, will forever be remembered as the day my Wira died, then got resurrected, & then mutated into an automotive immortal for a couple of hours.

So the next time your car suddenly became an immortal, it might just be the hehcartlaitsweet.

Avril is (Still) Too Hot for Malaysia

UPDATE: “Show will go on for rock star Avril on Aug 29″ – The Star Online, August 23rd.

PETALING JAYA: Canadian rock star Avril Lavigne will be performing in Kuala Lumpur after all. The final decision, after a week of uncertainty, was made at a meeting of senior officials from the Unity, Culture, Arts and Heritage Ministry yesterday. The organiser, Galaxy Group, obtained its permit last evening to stage the concert at Stadium Merdeka on Aug 29, sources said. Avril’s concert here – the launch pad of her Asian dates – made headlines across the world after the Federal Territory PAS Youth told the ministry and the Kuala Lumpur Mayor to ban the event. The wing had argued that Avril’s concert is “too punk and rock for Malaysian youth especially so during Merdeka month.” Since then, many have criticised the wing’s move and decisions were purportedly made on the status of the show and its date. Minister Datuk Shafie Apdal had earlier said the application to hold the concert had to be studied, as they did not want it to coincide with the Merdeka period and the tahlil religious programme on Aug 29. Shafie had also denied that the ministry’s earlier decision to call off the concert was in response to PAS Youth’s call for the ban.

Oh, the morons we have that govern our country. The clowns finally found the light that was shining out of their assholes. Screw them all. Avril, you are totally owning. Blow the skirts off our wussy government, & PAS youth, who all think with their damn penises (& think they control all OUR penises). Show these idiots what independence really means, & that music is not controlled by some idealistic political movement. It’s time to bring on the fun, & rock on.

Kevin is currently salivating at Avril Lavigne’s acoustic concert at the Roxy Theatre.

~.~.~.~.~.~

Bless Pak Lah’s hairy balls.

From YAHOO! News: KUALA LUMPUR, Malaysia – Malaysia on Tuesday canceled a concert by Canadian rock singer Avril Lavigne, saying it may taint the Muslim-majority country’s independence day celebrations after the Islamic opposition slammed her show as being “too sexy.” The Arts, Culture and Heritage Ministry said it had decided not to permit Lavigne’s show because it was unsuitable to Malaysian culture and could not be held on August 29, two days ahead of independence day.

“It is not timely. It’s not in the good spirit of our National Day. If we go ahead with the concert, it is contrary to what we are preparing for,” said Shukran Ibrahim, a senior official from the culture ministry’s department that vets all foreign artists.

The decision came after the youth wing of a fundamentalist opposition party, the Pan-Malaysian Islamic Party, called for the show’s cancellation. Kamarulzaman Mohamed, a party youth official, told The Associated Press on Monday that Lavigne’s show was “considered too sexy for us” and would promote the wrong values just before independence day.

What. The. Fart. Ma. Chi. Bung.

This really takes the cake. How dare you bastards take away every Sk8er Boi’s high school dream. Do you know how long I waited to see Avril live in person?! Okay, so what if I’m not a fan of her post-marriage 3rd album, I was hopelessly devoted head over heels for her first two albums. This is the first time I’m forking an investment of over 300 bucks for a concert ticket, and you go and fart her away just like that?

The unholy ticket to sexiness

Let me tell you assholes something, it’s an indescribable honour that a foreign artist, someone even of Avril’s stature, would actually consider putting damned Malaysia on their tour’s schedule. Have you not learned shit? First Beyonce ditched us. Then Christina Aguilera. You know what, I actually believed for a second that Malaysia was heading for a good year ahead when artists like Switchfoot, Daughtry, Colbie Caillat dropped by, or hey, even that Digby free showcase was a good sign. Then this pile of cow dung landed.

“It is considered too sexy for us…It’s not good for viewers in Malaysia. We don’t want our people, our teenagers, influenced by their performance. We want clean artists, artists that are good role models.” - Kamarulzaman Mohamed.

Excuse my ass, Avril Lavigne – too sexy? Never in any of our teenage-horny-hormonal-years have we ever associated Avril with the word sexy. Oh sorry, I forgot I was listening & speaking to the holiest monk on planet Earth.

“Hold on hold on, what if I sang the Merdeka song during my concert? Or your Jalur Gemilang? Could I come then? I promise I won’t do a ‘I-wanna-be-your-girlfriend’ on any Malaysian guy!”

& not in the good spirit of National Day? So putting the concert just before Merdeka will make us less patriotic? You know what, choosing Azizul over Chong Wei to be the flag bearer for Malaysia in Beijing, now THAT’s bloody unpatriotic. We are not dumb enough to believe the reasons you gave us, we KNOW the real reason behind that choice okay. In the end? Chong Wei gave us a silver, and symbolically kissed the Malaysian flag logo on his T-shirt repeatedly after the semifinal win over Lee Hyun-Il, while Azizul finished last in his event. So yea, fark you.

“Tanggaaaalll tiga puluh satuuuuuuuu. Bulan lapan, lima puluh tujuuuuhhhhh…”

First you wanna ban Faizal Tahir’s nipples. Then you tried to ban the boobs of Ella & Mas Idayu, followed swiftly by the ban of a local rock band singer’s boxers. Oh yea, now you wanna further make Malaysia a complete international mockery in front of the entire world to gleefully see. What, the global humiliation that our ex-Information Minister heaped on our country when he spluttered his attempt at the English language live on Al-Jazeera after the Bersih protest; that wasn’t enough?

“Next, I’m gonna sing an acoustic remix titled Hey Hey You You Negara ku ku…”

Several female artists including Gwen Stefani and the Pussycat Dolls have run into trouble in Malaysia, which requires all performers to be covered from knees to chest and refrain from jumping, shouting, hugging and kissing on stage.

Jumping? Shouting? Hahahahahaha, even Sesame Street had performers and puppets jumping! What a complete joke! I’m sorry, oh PAS Youth muffinheads, that you actually believed us Malaysians to be as easily “influenced”, naive & stupid like yourselves. I personally feel sorry that you actually think us to be as low as you. Kudos once again, Malaysia, for being able to push the limits of narrow-mindedness, both on the local & international stage. Indeed, with this kind of INTELLECTUAL mindfulness, we are SO on track to being a fully-developed country by year 2020. Our country is so going to the dogs.

Next time they’re gonna ban Hayley for having “rambut terlalu oren” when Paramore decides to drop by, if they ever do. Or even ban Jennifer Lopez for “having an enormous arse”, or Mariah Carey for her healthily sculptured fruits, or Justin Timberlake for his “sexyback”, or Timbaland for wearing singlets that inappropriately show his big-ass abs, & his bulu ketiak. That’s when I’ll be moving, period. For now, instead of looking forward in full anticipation to August 29th, here I am flopped down on my chair in despair, wondering how it would ever feel like when Avril sings “Hey hey you you, I want to be your girlfriend” to me…

The Dark Knight…

“You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.”

If you’d asked me how The Dark Knight was right after any of the 2 times I went to see it in the cinema, I would only have 1 word for you: “Whoa…”

Finally, everything you’ve heard, everything you’ve hoped for, is here…is true. This is Batman like never before.

I’m telling you, Christopher Nolan of Memento just can’t do no wrong at the moment. His Batman Begins was already very much the definitive Batman movie, so with such impossible expectations & anticipation from the entire globe for this second installment, what does he do? He blows us all away with some exceptionally sublime & original directing. The Dark Knight not only surpasses every of our over-hyped expectations, it is the mother of all superhero movies.

“Because some men aren’t looking for anything logical, like money. They can’t be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn.”

Where do I even bloody start? Nolan once again pushes the limits of the superhero realm to be as realistic as possible. It does not get any closer than this. The storyline is gritty, complex & darker than ever, & the action scenes are spectacularly gripping. So many things were happening at once, with such a stunning plot that was so well-executed; I almost forgot to breathe. Not contemplated with that, Nolan even had a few turns & surprises along the way, just to completely knock the socks of us all. It was perfect, making The Joker the logic response to the Batman, & make no mistake, despite the fabulous & shocking Harvey Two-Face story (Nolan’s interpretation of how Dent became Two-Face was both original & more realistic), the face-off (direct or indirect) between Batman & the Joker throughout the entire 152 minutes is the real deal, making The Dark Knight chaotically beautiful & a complete glorious anarchy of a movie. Gotham City was brought to life in a much more vibrant way, allowing us to explore an alternate yet recognizable reality, & boy were Batman’s slender kevlar & gadgets cool this time. I absolutely loved how the Batpod was actually ejected out of the self-destructing Tumbler! & oh, Batman can turn his head now, lol! The one-liners of the script were well-structured & affecting, capturing our collective anxiety over the resurgent politics of hope.

“Let me get this straight. You think that your employer, one of the wealthiest, most powerful men in the world, is spending his nights running around the city beating criminals to a pulp with his bare hands. And your plan is to blackmail this person? Good luck.”

A lot has been said about the late Heath Ledger’s The Joker, so what can I say anymore? He was spectacular. Completely overturning & overwhelming Jack Nicholson’s version, Ledger comes up with a psychopathic terrorist version that not only scares the balls off you, but is strangely captivating &…funny. He balances the Joker’s sadistic nature with an enigmatic sense of wit, making his last complete performance an Oscar-deserving one. Who could ever forget the Joker’s scenes such as the disappearing pencil magic trick, his perfect Joker laugh, the lip-licking, the delayed hospital bombing scene, & lines like “very poor choice of words”, “you complete me” & “wanna know how I got my scars?”. Oh yes, Ledger sure was mind-blowing, & most importantly, The Joker was a worthy & mighty foe to Batman, in a more psychological way. Nolan does extremely well in structuring & prioritizing, pushing aside how the Joker schemes & plots his terrorism acts, instead concentrating on the bigger picture of how The Joker plotted the downfall of Gotham through the city’s white knight, Harvey Dent.

“The night is darkest just before the dawn. And I promise you, the dawn is coming.”

But, truth be told, no one was overshadowed. The cast was astonishing, yet again. Christian Bale was imperiously suave as Bruce Wayne, & as Batman was pushed to the limit, even losing his cool during the interrogation scene with Joker. Michael Caine returns as Alfred, & though he had lesser screen time, his interaction with Wayne was still as engaging & hilarious as ever. The same goes to Morgan Freeman, who seems to be appearing in every movie these days. I was most impressed however with Gary Oldman, who turned in an outstanding performance as Lt.-turned-Commissioner Gordon, justified by a much bigger role this time around. Most surprising of all was Aaron Eckhart as Harvey Dent. I was not too excited when Eckhart got the role of Harvey Two-Face, but wow, he sure amazed me with his performance as the fallen hero of Gotham. The only disappointment for me from the casting & the entire movie in fact, is Maggie Gyllenhaal’s Rachel Dawes. Despite her being an improvement over Katie Holmes, I just can’t help but prefer someone like Rachel Weisz, Jennifer Connelly or heck even Rachel McAdams to play Dawes, especially since Dawes was a central role to the origins of Two-Face.

“See, I’m not a monster…I’m just ahead of the curve.”

What made my favourite superhero’s big screen movie even better were Hans Zimmer & James Newton Howard. While Batman Begins’ scores were majestic, they were quite incomplete. This time, Zimmer’s heavy influences throughout the main themes are much more powerful, gloriously dark & thrilling. The Joker’s theme starts off the soundtrack album, & it was experimental, complex, & bloody brilliant. James Newton Howard’s contribution is more distinct this time with the Harvey Dent theme. All in all, a fantastic film score that enhances the film’s strength by a complete mile.

“You thought we could be decent men in an indecent world. But you were wrong; the world is cruel, and the only morality in a cruel world is chance.”

I can say without doubt, that The Dark Knight not only kicks every other summer movie’s ass (yes, even Iron Man), it is well on it’s way to being the mammoth movie of 2008. It is currently #1 in IMDb’s Top 250 list & certified bloody 95% fresh in Rotten Tomatoes. It’s orgasmic to see my favourite superhero being brought to the big screen the way Nolan does it. Oh yes, The Dark Knight was a triumphant masterpiece. I left the cinema, twice, in full awe & respect for Nolan’s genius intelligence, a thunderous applause for the cinematography as well as the casts’ performance, & a tinge of sadness for a great talent tragically curtailed.

“Because he’s the hero Gotham deserves, but not the one it needs right now…and so we’ll hunt him, because he can take it. Because he’s not a hero. He’s a silent guardian, a watchful protector…a dark knight.”

Oh by the way, if you are looking for something different, please do try Once.

It’s a very independent, low-budget love story that is completely honest, sincere & charming. Revolving around a guy named Guy (Glen Hansard of The Frames) & a girl named Girl (Marketa Irglova) who both share the love for music, the film is not like any other musical, featuring some of the finest indie music for some time. However, be prepared to cringe at what is possibly the world’s most bashed-up acoustic guitar that ever survived & remained playable.

Saying Good Byes…

Hoi! Stop blaming PETRONAS & start asking what the hell the Government has always been doing with the billions Petronas has given to the country!

& so the harrowing 32-week internship comes to an end.

As the last weeks overwhelmed yours truly so much, working his ass off till late hours while at the same time rushing to prepare the many paperwork, reports & the big final presentation for his university, anyone would have guessed that come the last day, it would have been like a huge relief for him that work life is coming to an end & now the author can look forward to returning to…um, Tronoh…wait a minute, did I just say look forward?

Even on the very last day of internship, I was rushing to finish up work, having such a short time to make the rounds to Level 48 and 49 of TM Tower to say my good byes to everyone. I didn’t even have time to join the other interns that were brought up to the helipad on the final day. But then, as the dust settled at about 8-9pm, & after my long talk with my supervisor cum Senior Manager, as I sat down to pack my things in my cubicle, preparing to type my good bye e-mails to those closest, it hit me how much the people in MBM have affected me & my life. Without going into details & much melancholic recollections, I am just utterly lucky & grateful to have encountered people like all my department members, the “aunties” in Level 49, & the girls; Anida, Pey Wen, Liz, Michelle (as well as motherly ex-Smart Theng Theng). Makes you think that sometimes perhaps even if the work kicks your nuts real hard, it’s the people that really make work life go past bearable into memorable. Kinda applies to UTP too ain’t it? It was also hilarious how during my farewell lunch, almost all of my division members fit into our very own 10-seater Vito van to go to lunch, with my German VP & my Senior Manager being made to sit at the rear seat!

As I leave all these wonderful people behind in hope that paths will intertwine some day, she has finally returned from overseas. & that, my friends, is a very good reason to smile.

~~*~~

Okay, so Hancock sort of bombed at the 2nd part of the movie. Not even the rather funny jokes in the 1st half or Will Smith’s quite impressive one-man-show could save this from being a mangled cock-crap with even poorer CGI. Wanted was stylish & Jolie was looking old but bloody delicious, but still…bending the bullet a full 360 degrees in a small confined hall? That aside, the whole car scene takes the cake. Hellboy II: The Golden Army was a whole bunch of entertainment as Guillermo del Toro gleefully unleashes waves of all kinds of monsters in full unstoppable glory. There’s really nothing to complain about; Selma Blair’s hair was ultra-hot, Hellboy really got to kick-ass & got some nice face-bashing himself, & behind-the-mask master Doug Jones shone through Abe Sapiens, the Angel of Death & the Chamberlain. It’s no classic (who the fark cares?), but it’s Hellboy, & I loved it.

But it was among all these continuing onslaught of summer blockbusters that I came across something entirely unexpected. On the night of my final day of internship, as I sat down at my computer desk late at night fully drained & feeling the effects of a 8-month training, scrolling through my massive movies collection wanting to click on something stupidly funny (in the line of Superbad or Harold & Kumar) to get my mind off everything, I found myself double-clicking instead on Grace Is Gone.

I didn’t know anything about the movie aside from the fact that John Cusack was in it, & I read about that somewhere a while ago. Initially thinking I was probably gonna end up just browsing through it anyway, I instead found myself still stuck to the same position on my seat 1.5 hours later, with tears welling up in my eyes. Oh yea, this so-called manly big chump almost cried like a bloody big-ass baby. ALMOST, okay?

At the heart of this story is John Cusack’s Stanley Phillips, an average Joe daddy trying to find the appropriate means & moment to tell his 2 young daughters about the demise of their mother, while himself fighting to cope with the reality of the death of his wife. Struggling & unable to face the moment of telling his older fast-maturing 12-year-old daughter, Heidi (a remarkable Shelan O’Keefe) & 8-year-old Dawn (Gracie Bednarczyk) that their mother died in battle in Iraq, he takes them on a trip to Enchanted Gardens theme park. A incredibly sad movie that barely mentions the Iraq war or even Stanley’s soldier wife (she does not even have a scene), the whole story focuses on Stanley & his two daughters, & in the bigger picture, how the Iraq war affects concerned loved ones. Remarkably subtle & not obviously dramatic, the many poignant moments shared between Stanley with Heidi & Dawn throughout the journey to Enchanted Gardens builds up to the big-time tear-jerking moment when Stanley finally finds the voice to speak the painful words to his daughters. Grace Is Gone has no plot twists or spoilers; we know that the inherent pain of tragic loss is coming, & it becomes even more painful for us as that emotional core is dangled in front of us for 1.5 hours.

The storyline hinges on the magnificent performance by the cast. John Cusack gives the performance of a lifetime as a restrained father struggling to cope & to take care of his 2 daughters. Cusack’s Stanley hardly gets to show his true thoughts & feelings, as he sole duty & responsibility goes to his daughters. Shelan O’Keefe does more than holding her own opposite Cusack, almost outshining Cusack as she goes through a period of self-discovery with her dad throughout the journey to Enchanted Gardens, while Gracie Bednarczyk’s Dawn injects effervescence to counter the heartrending drama circulating the movie. & surprise surprise, Clint Eastwood composed the plain but touching music score.

Grace Is Gone does not force any political stance on the Iraq war, just a look at humanity, at how we might deal with the tragic loss of life, & reflect on the effects of war. It is simple yet effective, subtle yet beautifully poignant, sensitively low-key but packs a huge emotional wallop, & it will stay on with you after the end of it all.

July 17th, the Dark Knight cometh. Are you ready?

LL16: My New Wife Has Balls & Curves…

Boy, Motorola sure puts a lot of effort in packaging the RAZR2 V9, the boxes in the set I received were almost more stylish than the flippy itself!

Acoustic Guitars are best because (excerpts from The Acoustic Guitar Forum)…

1. They don’t complain if you bring more guitars home

2. Stroke them just right and they sing

3. They don’t complain if you don’t do it quite right

4. You can’t successfully serenade a woman with a trombone
5. Playing a Stratocaster in a canoe can be fatal

6. “Bagpipes around the campfire” is just wrong
7. There’s just something unmanly about a ukelele

8. Defending yourself from a mugger with a two handed swing of a piccolo is not an option
9. If stranded in the arctic with just a pack of matches a saxophone will not burn

10. Heaven is acoustic only – no electricity

11. They smell good and chicks love them!

12. Owning one is the only way most of us are ever going to hear the phrase “he’s plucking good!”

Ladies & fellow wankers, while some crazy uncle is marrying his 4th wife & hornily preparing to add to his stable of 25 children, I’m here to present my new wife, the all-solid Lana Lang 16.

Uh, wait, I’m of course referring to officially my 1st serious acoustic guitar, the handcrafted Yamaha LL16 from the top-of-the-line handbuilt acoustic Yamaha L Series.

Okay, so naming her Lana Lang just because it’s an LL model (& since she was my old flame) may sound lame, but hey, it’s my first RM3k guitar & I’m pretty much on cloud nine right now, so screw you, if I say it’s Lana, it’s Lana you punks. After all, she (the guitar) would probably be as beautiful as Kristin Kreuk’s Lana Lang at the age of 16 anyway, but with bigger boobs & an even bigger butt of course, no contest.

Let’s start from the beginning. I’ve been scouting for a serious guitar for quite a while now, after being faithful to my old Yamaha F340 BL for over 8 years now (bought it with my own piggy bank 500 bucks when I was 14!). Now let’s be honest, brands like Taylors, Larivees, & Matons are sold at outrageous prices over here in gawddamn Malaysia. Initially armed with only a 2k budget, I went around hopelessly in search of a good, beautiful guitar but at the price I wanted. There’s no doubt the ultimate acoustic guitars come from Taylor, so at Bentley’s, while trying really hard to ignore the gorgeous T5s on display, I tried the Taylor 110 which sounded like crap but was priced at 3.6k, while the Taylor 210 was retailing at 4.6k. So when you can’t afford made-in-USA guitars, you look at the Asian made models. The Takamines G Series ranging at 1-3k just could not satisfy me either, & don’t even get me started on the apalling sub-2k acoustics from Fender & Ibanez. At Mahogany’s, they let me try a Takamine retailed at 3.6k that had a very jangly bright sound. But then that Takamine’s (like many other Takamines) finishing & physical look was so unattractive & half-baked (maybe I’m just vain). It wasn’t long before I ended up back at Yamaha.

Some of Yamaha L Series artists: Clint Lowery of Sevendust with the LJX6C, Dave Navarro has his own signature L series model, the LLX6 DN, & John LeCompt (formerly from Evanescence) uses the LJX6C

Among other Yamaha Acoustic Guitar artists: Edwin McCain uses the APX10NA, Chad Kroeger endorses the handcrafted CJX32, while Avril Lavigne performs with the APX9C

Overshadowed by what are without doubt the best pianos in the world, Yamaha on the other hand has always been associated with cheap affordable guitars just because, well, their prime market IS at the affordable range, but upon closer look, the guitars are always bang for bucks. Yamaha guitars are under-rated, simply put. In the midst of trying everything from their CPX700 to the sexy APX700, it was one fine morning when Chris forwarded me an online catalog of Yamaha’s high-end L Series Acoustics, & suddenly it brought back memories of how infatuated I was with this handcrafted series back when I was working part-time with Yamaha. I always thought they were beyond my reach (in terms of price) then, but couldn’t help but be kinda pumped-up this time around especially upon checking out the many (& I mean, MANY) raving great reviews of the L series guitars online. It did help that Marié Digby used an LLX6 when she performed at 1 Utama months back (refer back to my Digby entry). Well, Yamaha has 4 lines within the L series, the 6, 16, 26 & 36s. The 26 & 36s are handmade in Japan & retails here at an average of a whopping RM12000, but to my silent joy the bottom-of-the-barrel 6s go for around RM2290 while the 16s were retailing from RM2990, because these two lines are handmade in China/Taiwan (Yamaha moved it’s Taiwan base to China a couple of years back).

Some of the L series guitars on display at The Curve (from left, the LS16, LJ6 & LL6 Sunburst). On the extreme right is the LJ26, which retails at RM11900

The L Series also offers 3 types of body built which gives the distinction in each sound & playability. The standard dreadnought (LL) is widely touted as the most well-rounded & balanced, always associated with a bright sound suitable for both strumming & finger-picking. The semi-jumbo (LJ) has a rounder & bigger body, often suitable for strumming because of it’s better & warmer sound projection, while the ground-auditorium size (LS) is smaller in built & has a more focused midrange. Choosing a guitar based on excellent online reviews & its handmade reputation (though to what extent of handcrafting is still questionable especially for the 6 & 16s, considering their rather good price) of course is not an option, I had to try them out. To my joy the LL6 (with a solid top & laminate back & sides) was a dream to play, but then found out that for an extra 700 bucks I could upgrade to the LL16 with a FULL-SOLID body! In this moment of desperation, it was mom & someone (wink wink) who decided to pump in some financial support to finally enable me to make an order for my first full-solid handmade 900-US-dollar acoustic guitar. Purchased it at 15% off, & it took about 3-4 days for the guitar to arrive after the deposit for order was paid.

Moment of unvirginizing at the Yamaha outlet (top), & then back at home

Miss Lana Lang 16, or the Yamaha LL16, is a handcrafted acoustic slender dreadnought guitar, boasting a hand selected Solid Engelmann Spruce top & Solid Indian Rosewood back & sides (this Engelmann Spruce-Rosewood combination is also used in the 4,5-times-more-expensive Taylor 700 series). While traditionally a guitar neck is carved out of a single block of wood, the LL16 neck is crafted off the unique L series trademark 3-ply design, featuring a strip of Rosewood sandwiched between 2 layers of the Mahogany neck construction for extra neck stability. It also features a new non-scalloped 90° X-bracing construction that is designed to deliver a thick & well-focused tone. The Ebony bridge is bigger & has a bigger mass than usual Yamahas & the Ebony fingerboard has neat humble abalone rosette position markers that do not exactly shine out, but it’s acceptable. The die-cast Gold grover style tuners keep the strings in tune just fine (though I’m suspicious of how long they will remain gold), & the nut width is 1 3/4″. The flawless Hi-Gloss on the body & clean Satin finish on the neck & headstock gives the LL16 an extremely understated but alluring look, given that extra spark by its nice inlay encircling the sound hole. Feeling a little skeptical about the foam casing it came with instead of my preferred hard case, I was thoroughly relieved to find the foam casing fits her (yes, I’m referring to the guitar as a her now) like a glove & keeps her nicely cushioned.

Amboi~ selesanya…

“It’s the ballsiest sound I ever heard”, proclaimed a review online about his LL16, & though I’ve never encountered any guitar associated with the word “ballsy”, after playing her for the past few days, I simply cannot find a more suitable word to describe the gorgeous bright sound she produced other than BALLSY. Having no pick-up system or cutaway, I knew I was getting every single dollar fully invested into her sound & tone. Has a well-balanced & rich sound with great sustain, with a strong bass that does not overwhelm the sweet clear mid & highs. Though not perfect in terms of clarity & separation, it was such a joy to hear how such a physically understated, composed & simple-looking guitar can sound like it has an enormous pair of balls when aggressively strummed, though the sound has become warmer (probably due to the Yammie factory strings it came with) day by day. Many forums have mentioned how incredibly remarkable the LL16 can sound like the Taylor 400 & 600 series & kicks Larivee’s ass (some of these comments came from Americans guitarists themselves, mind you), & at a quarter of the price. Frankly, I think of it this way, if you can afford them or willing to go for broke, just buy the damn Taylors & if you can’t, like me, you find the guitar that might just match them.

The solid Rosewood grains of her back/sides & the 3-ply Mahogany-Rosewood neck (apologies for the poor photography, my place had very poor lighting)

The Rosewood grains on the back & sides of the LL16 I chose were nicely tight. However, upon peeking inside the sound hole, some minor glue marks at some edges hint at it’s China handmade origins, but I could forgive that . The neck has a V-profile that I got used to without any problem, although I have to say the factory setup of the action & saddle is a little too high for my liking, thus affecting it’s playability. In addition, there was a little buzzing on the low E string when plucked hard (discovered this when executing my favourite “Little Wings” acoustic solo on it the 1st time). Another complain I would force out is if they had only gave extra effort in creating a more distinct looking pick guard that would suit a 3k-worth guitar, rather than the standard black dull one, & but hey, again, I’m just nit-picking at what is already an incredible guitar. The slender dreadnought curves fit snugly into my wrapped arms & the usual Yamaha straight boxy butts at the end have been rounded off for the L Series. This guitar is noticeably a little heavier when compared to my old F340.

No, I’m not being racist just because I replaced the old black one with a fairer one

From bonking heavy to light strumming to finger-picking, the Yamaha LL16 is probably one of the best guitars at this price range (I of course can’t state for certain as I’m not exactly an expert nor did I try all the guitars available). Where else can you find a handcrafted full-solid body acoustic at this price value? I tend to stay loyal to my instruments, as shown by how my brother & I stuck to our old Made-in-Japan LU-101 piano from the beginning till the end (hey, that so-called beginner piano produced two 140-distinction Grade 8 results okay?). Like many, it is likely that many of us (especially Malaysians) start off with an affordable Yamaha acoustic, & if in the future I am still unable to afford a Taylor, I just might not be surprised if my Yamaha LL16 goes well on its way towards being more than capable of being my last guitar. Ooooh yeah, Lana Lang has never been this hot.

As an addition, find out how the L Series guitars are handmade in this tour around the Yamaha L series factory in Japan at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dP0d18tFjSY. You will be pleasantly surprised at how intimate & small the factory is, with a small group of Japanese luthiers showing incredible dedication to their work. If you wanna hear how the L series guitars sound, Dave Goodman gives a solid demonstration here at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tt2FbHCWPNA.

Kevin is now officially much skinnier (yearight! His wallet actually) in this week alone due to expenditure for his car repaint, his perempuan simpanan (the V9) & Lana.