Here’s To A “Healthy” 2008…

by KV

    Overheard in office:

“Not bad, the fella can last damn long…what, 44 minutes? 55 minutes?”
“Something like that…got Disc 1 & Disc 2 sommore!”
“Yalar…that’s why he’s our HEALTH MINISTER!”

    As Malaysians usher into 2008 with news that our Health Minister had been extra healthy (& recorded himself, or was recorded, or whatever, being ding dong healthy), I wonder why the big news splattered across newspapers are about the video’s scandalous nature. They should instead be raving about how the heck a 61-year-old can actually last that long! I mean, hey, that’s probably what qualified him for the post in the 1st place! I can imagine the interview:

“So Dr. Chua, tell me, what makes you think you are good enough for this job as Malaysia’s Health Minister?”
(Typical Dr. Chua’s no-nonsense style)

“Because I can shag a much younger chick for almost an hour, no problemo.”

“Wow! Macam Austin Powers la you! You are hired!”

    Okay, jokes aside, the fella isn’t doing himself much favour by all his crap talking after he resigned. Stop talking & blaming stupid reasons, & admit you made a mistake. The dude’s not even sorry he did it, that bugger! Man. Anyway, the media should also stop making such a big hoo-haa of this issue either, I don’t see them making soooo much fuss about corrupt politicians, which in my view, are as scandalous. I mean, the cover of Hannah Tan’s debut album (her in a smoking hot bikini) was waa-a-ay more erection-influencing than the possibility of Dr. Chua’s 1 Night in Katerina Hotel, Batu Pahat DVD being in the market.

    Also overheard in the office: “Eiy! Got picture of Indians ady!” Colleague exclaimed, while pointing at a picture in The Star. “These bastards, never post pictures of Indians before, after Hindraf issue, then only tarok har!” He had a point, my colleague. How may pictures of Indians have you actually seen in The Star before the Hindraf issue?

    Anyway, the end of 2007 to the welcoming of 2008 was pretty eventful, Jessicaalbaparademi1with Jamie Lynn Spears getting knocked-up, the Wanita Rempah reunion, Westlife still singing covers, but for me, the biggest news was Jessica Alba, MY Jessica Alba, the cause for this world’s jantans’ wet dreams, is preggers! Okay, I didn’t even know the word “preggers” existed, credit to Hot magazine for creating this word. Back to the issue…DAMN! Alba is pregnant! Yup, many guys can now scratch her name off their list of ‘Celebrities I Would Like To Hump Before I Die’. For the next 9 months, at least.

    Closer to home, our government continues to make many empty promises. It’s always the same thing, a problem will occur, a committee to handle the issue will be set up, then a committee to handle the committee that handled the issue will be set up…at this rate they are giving a lot of people committee posts to just…I have no idea. Oh yea, effective from 2nd January my company will be known as simply Mercedes-Benz Malaysia. Works fine for me, not many people know what is the company behind the brand anyway.

    Overheard in the office: “Okay, but I have to unzip first before you can see all…”. Unzip a zipped file on the computer, not what you think…

    I’m sorry if I sound a tad messy here with jumbled topics, I’m just typing away with whatever comes across my mind since I’ve been accumulating topics to blog about in my mind for more than 2 weeks now. I’ve been wanting to say this about The Golden Compass for a very long time, it SUCKETH. Oh man, this was so like what I felt after Eragon. Well, at least Eragon’s storybook sucked, so they had not much to make a movie from, but Phillip Pullman’s novels actually were fascinating! Sure, I didn’t quite enjoy the books as much as the Potters, but they were interesting enough. The Golden Compass was oh-so-messy, with the most horrible ending, & what a sin to give Eva Green (& her fruits) & Daniel Craig so little screen time. Photo_23_hiresI also do not understand what the raves about Dakota Blue Richards’ performance were all about, I found her simply kayu! I have to confess however that Nicole Kidman was spot-on as Mrs. Coulter, a beautiful one at that. National Treasure: Book of Secrets was entertaining, but very much forgettable. The plot does not make sense once again, but of course, Diane Kruger is positioned there to distract all of us from the story, she is 1 hot babe. It sure is handy to have a hot babe to almost save the movie, just like Kidman did for Golden Compass, & Sienna Guillory’s hot elf for Eragon.

    With 2007 supplying a healthy dose of blockbusters that rocked & sucked,Darkknightposter1 2008 looks as pleasing. Top of my list would be The Dark Night (Heath Ledger’s Joker looks pissing scary), while Harrison-Han-Solo-Ford makes a comeback as Indy Jones, not forgetting Robert Downey Jr. as Orang Besi. Not too interested in Prince Caspian however, because, frankly, the lead kid characters just are plain uninteresting. I mean, look at the Potter movies, they rely a lot on the strength & chemistry between the 3 leads, that continues to grow. Hey, even Radcliffe is beginning to act now. Hermione…oh Hermione.

    Oh oh oh…I almost forgot. Switchfoot is coming to town! February 2nd, KLCC Convention Centre! I came into office on 3rd January being surprised by Anida, the Sharifah Amani lookalike girl who sits in front of my cubicle. Switchfoot_1“I’ve got good news for you.” – “Ape? Gaji naik?” – “Switchfoot coming to KL!”

    I bought the tickets for both Chris & I right after work that day itself. After missing Muse last year, ain’t gonna miss another chance like this! Tickets are going at RM120+RM3, so guys, hurry up!

    I think I gotta stop here, the main reason being I gotta go to the loo. I’m in Starbucks now actually, ripping the benefit of a RM11 cup of Caramel Machia-whatever-tto. I just realized the brilliant side of Starbucks going wireless. As the main part of what they are serving is coffee-based, & since coffee induces the urge to go pee, that means you can’t really stay at Starbucks to use their wireless access for too long anyway. Starbuckggers.

    In the spirit of racial unity, I end this entry with this story I heard from someone, about a new school principal giving his motivational welcoming speech to his board of teachers in a meeting.

Principal : “We must always work hard, work smart, & smile always!”
Teacher 1, whispering to Teacher 2: “Yeala…the Indians work hard, the Chinese work smart, & the Malays smile always!”

    Joking-lah. I think.