Of Women & Blockbusters To Come…
Damn that income tax radio advertisement. The government actually composed a happy song to advertise their reminder to everyone to submit their income tax forms? What the fart? Since when did income tax=happy? The song goes, all radio-friendly pop rock happy style, in the chorus: “Selalu diingatkan~~…blablabla…selalu diingatkan~~!!!” or something, & then ends with a voice-over going “Submit your income tax forms now. This message is brought to you by Lembaga Hasil Dalam…”. Mental.
Today is Women’s Day for Kevin.
Who dares to disagree with Megan Fox being no.1 in “FHM’s Top 100 Sexiest Women In The World of 2008”? I’ll shoot your crotch.
Who the hell looks that hot while bending over a beat-up Corvette bonnet? Oh yea, we guys dig a chick in a mini skirt, bending over a car, & knows her “double overhead cam shafts” well. Though she can’t act to save her life, she has the ability to make Optimus Prime transform a mechanical hard-on in a second. & the rest of the top 5 ain’t that bad either.
Proof that the top 5 really are the sexiest women in the world? I thought the world was going to end when Adam Sandler (yes, that bastard) laid his dirty palms on Jessica Biel‘s bikini-clad hooters. I thought the world really has ended when Jessica Alba announced she’s been knocked up & all pregnant. Next, who the hell does not want Elisha Cuthbert to be our girl next door? & to round up at no.5 is the one with the most famous golden globes in Hollywood that everyone wants to get their hands on, Scarlett Johansson.
The list was pretty awesome until I puked seeing Hilary Duff making the Top 10, & worst, Britney making the Top 100. Bless me, who the hell still finds anything close to sexy in a totally screwed-up drunk exposing her V to anyone who wants to see it?
Okay okay, before I get carried away in exposing my overdriven male hormones online, I would like to point out to some other categories of women celebrities which you probably could not find in a hot-blooded magazine like FHM. Now that we know what FHM (in other words, most of the world male population) thinks, what do I think? If you noticed, the majority of the women in sexiest women polls across the globe always are made up by a majority from the 16-30 years of age range. So let’s take a look at the ranges that do not get as much recognition, but from my personal point of view, really are the significant ones in the entertainment world. After all, sex does sell, but talent & uniqueness stay much longer. Let us take a look at the really young, & the old.
The Young Wonders
This is where the word sexy does not exist yet, but rather, more importantly, when pure talent & hardwork really show. & for me, this is by far my favourite people to watch out on the screen, when the young ones show us what they can really do.
Anna Paquin amazed everyone with her Academy Award winning performance in The Piano when she was just 10 years of age, & Drew Barrymore was too cute for words in E.T.. But Dakota Fanning was the one that really caught my attention the most, with her absolutely spectacular performance in I Am Sam & Taken. Then came Rachel Hurd-Wood in Peter Pan, with her hot lips matching her sweet English charm. Emma Watson delighted with her haughty-turned-hot Hermione Granger in the Potter movies. Last year belonged to big-eyed AnnaSophia Robb, who single-handedly carried Bridge To Terabithia & saved The Reaping. Finally, Abigail Breslin‘s outstanding turn in Little Miss Sunshine, followed by her believable jungle girl in Nim’s Island & endearing daughter in Definitely, Maybe, confirmed her status as the most wanted young prodigy in Hollywood this year. I would also like to mention Ellen Page, the now famous Juno actress who though might be older than the rest above, is definitely the most intensely gifted young actress of all.
Just to add, I think Miley Cyrus is over-rated. & I do not appreciate her boasting during the Idol Gives Back telecast. Her voice is icky, & she’s not talented at all at anything she’s doing.
The Elegant Veterans
We’ve done young & talented, while FHM has settled the sexy ones for me, so let’s go for the highest in the pecking order, the ones above the 35 years of age at least. These people amaze me because of their ability to mesmerize us with their supreme confidence, versatility & elegance on screen through all the years of their career.
Okay, so I won’t go as far as Judi Dench or Sissy Spacek, but my favourite “veteran” has to be Julianne Moore. She’s so bloody convincing she even made Evolution bearable & quite funny. Do I need to say anything that has not been said about Nicole Kidman, the gorgeous Australian actress that really became her own after dumping Tom Cruise, or the alluring Jennifer Connelly, who matches her onscreen elegance with strong performances? Next would have to be Britain’s most glamorous offer, Rachel Weisz. She made a name for herself as the charming bumbling librarian in The Mummy & I’ve been hooked ever since; I even loved Eragon’s dragon solely for the dragon’s voice itself (which Weisz voiced, of course). If elegance was the word for Connelly & Weisz, when it comes to versatility, there is only one name that could live up to it & even surpass it: Cate Blanchett. It takes alot of balls (even more for a woman, since she has none) to be as scary as Cate was in the Elizabeth movies, but it takes even more to be Katharine Hepburn in The Aviator & Bob Dylan in I’m Not There, in which she was stunning in both roles. I even loved her less dramatic roles in Babel & Notes on a Scandal. Just for an exception, I would like to list out Catharine Zeta-Jones, who isn’t exactly a very good actress, but whose beauty in The Mask Of Zorro I could never quite forget. Oh yea, watch out for mom-of-2 Gwyneth Paltrow, who’s making a comeback & looking mighty fine in Iron Man.
Alright, enough about women. It’s time to talk about the only thing that matters when we’ve arrived at this time of the year. It’s time for the summer blockbusters, the must-sees of the year! Are you ready for…oh crap, look at Eva Longoria, how can I resist her when she’s lying down like that?
Wait wait…no no. What I really mean is…are you ready for the big ones to hit our screens soon?
First up is of course Iron Man, with Robert Downey Jr. in the leading role. I sure hope this would match Batman Begins, where the character is bigger than the hero. Christian Bale nailed it when Bruce Wayne became the leading character & not Batman, & Downey Jr. sure looks capable of doing that. Oh, he’s also driving my dream car of the moment, the Audi R8, in that movie. Next up would be the most anticipated Lucas-Spielberg return of Indiana Jones & the B-Grade Sounding Title, sorry, I mean the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, with Harrison Ford, Shia Labeouf & Cate Blanchett. The emo green man is also returning in the form of Edward Norton in The Incredible Hulk (no more plastic Ang Lee versions please!) & Liv Tyler is in it, so I’m watching it. Everybody should know also by now that Tony Stark@Iron Man (Downey Jr.) will make a cameo appearance here. Wanted looks like a promising special effects bomb, since it’s coming from the director of Night Watch & Day Watch, that were filled with absurd out-of-this-world effects. & Angelina Jolie is in it, so that’s that. Enough has been hyped about The Dark Knight, & Heath Ledger’s The Joker looks set to be the mind-blowing villain everyone’s anticipating. Whatever it is, this will be my most waited movie of the year.
Let’s not forget the other movies that just might spring a surprise & knock the socks off us all during this period.
Hellboy, or the stupidly-renamed-by-our-censors Super Sapiens, was full of fun & it became an unlikely entertaining ride back then, & it’s sequel, Hellboy II: The Golden Army is coming to our shores in July. Is it just me or is Selma Blair looking hotter than ever? Then there’s Hancock, a twist at a superhero tale concerning a hero with some PR issues who’s played by the only man that could pull this off, Will Smith. The next is an offering from M. Night Syamalan, The Happening, which I can only hope is as good as it’s mystifying trailer. Something about plants making people commit suicide or something…at least the poster looks promising. & finally, The X-Files 2: I Want To Believe; will it bomb or will it be able to recapture the TV series’ magic?
Oooo I just hope it will be a good “summer-blockbuster” period, seeing that the only movie that has really captured my interest in 2008 so far was the explosive Cloverfield earlier this year. Oh yea, for some sleeper hits, you might wanna watch The Mist, which might have done better if it wasn’t released in the same time with Cloverfield, since it’s concept story is pretty much the same.
Current addiction: Breaking Benjamin’s “The Diary of Jane – Acoustic Version” & everything of Paramore.