In Time: Give Me Back My Time
I’ve realized that I haven’t been blasting any ammo from my arsenal on movies for months now. That’s saying something as in the past I have truly enjoyed myself glossing or crucifying movies here. In fact, the whole summer blockbuster season of 2011 passed by without me saying anything about any of them. For the record, I did not share:
1. My overwhelming euphoria at the glorious, spectacular Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows Part II & X-Men: First Class
2. My grateful relief at the polished Captain America & Thor
3. My gleeful surprise at Rise of the Planet of the Apes & Bridesmaids
4. My wide-eyed wtf-is-this-shit face at The Green Lantern
5. My overblown ears as a result of Transformers: Rosie Huntington-Whiteley Is Hotter Than Megan Fox
6. My delirious mental condition at The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo’s mind-f**king (eyeball-f**king too) trailer
7. My busted stomach from all the laughter at Obedient Wives Club news clip on YouTube.
(No, I’m not going to taint my blog with any images related to that garbage)
So when I finally decide to express myself about a certain movie in what is my 100th blog post, it surely means that the movie either granted me a whole majestic moment of epiphany, close to converting me into a new religion, featured a mighty hot chick, or totally pissed me off.
Unfortunately, In Time gave me the latter.
Let’s see what was in this movie.
Firstly, Amanda Seyfried in a killer hairdo, with killer eyes. She didn’t even need to show off her best curves, just a tease was sufficient.
Secondly, I’m quite sure this is the MILF movie of the year. All the mothers were hot. If Olivia Wilde was anyone’s mother, everyone would have been a motherf**ker.
From left – Grandma, mom & daughter. I can’t even begin to share what’s going on in my mind & pants just looking at this image.
Next, you have Cillian Murphy as the Timekeeper. He’s not exactly the villain, but Murphy played this character with such ambiguous coolness a whole new TV series could have been made out of him.
Right. 3 absolutely amazing things going on there, & I haven’t even touched on the brilliant concept of this movie. The near future where humans either die or go Forever 25, time as currency, & Justin Timberlake is still alive. A plot that shouts heaven for sci-fi fans. This could have been the next The Matrix, the next The Fifth Element, the next District 9, the next Blade Runner, the next Dark City. But noooooooo, this will now be known as just another movie that featured the curly-haired boy from ‘N Sync.
Look, I put no blame on Timberlake. Frankly he did nothing offensively wrong here, he was quite harmless.
What pisses me so much is the fact that In Time could have been the next ground-breaking sci-fi movie of our generation. But instead of developing its potentially rich concept & the enigmatic character of Timekeeper in Cillian Murphy, it chooses to be mediocre by wasting precious time on an unengaging Timberlake & a misfiring romance.
Well…at least Seyfried looked absolutely delicious.