The Never-ending Obsession, Obligation & Oogling

by KV

I solemnly swear that this will be my last post about Girls’ Generation.

For the time being.

I apologize, but I can’t seem to stop blabbering about them. Couple that with my furious passion to rank everything within my reach, & here you have an entry where I will, in my most immature, child-like, shallow, judgmental review, rank the best-looking (& mention the worse-looking one too) Girl in 15 of their more noteworthy music videos through the years, from the very beginning. Why? Because it’s fun. Is it useful? Nope. Then why do I still do it? Because it gives me bliss, word.

1. “Into The New World” – The good days when the girls were at their most natural, with almost zero noticeable makeup (gasp! checkout Seohyun’s eyebags!). While my favourite Taeyeon looks farkingadorable & so awesome with aviation goggles working on an airplane’s internal components & then piloting it, Tiffany edges ahead with that outrageous eye-smile, lip-smile & that innocent short hairdo.

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2. “Girls’ Generation”Taeyeon, hands-down. This was her prime era, anyone thinks otherwise is retarded. Yoona, a distant second.

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3. “Kissing You” – Lollipops! This is a tough one because it was an overdose of cuteness (which becomes tiresome quickly), truth be told I can’t single out the best-looking one, but I know who was the most agonizingly horrendous one. Someone should fire the person in charge of Hyoyeon’s makeover.

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4. “Day By Day” – Okay, this is not actually a music video, rather the screensaver by Daum in which all of the girls look endearing. While I liked how Yuri “wipes clean” your screen, a flirty Taeyeon just about redefines the significance of a simple scoop of ice cream.

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5. “HaHaHa” – Cute outfits, cute colours. & when you see the word cute, you know who wins. Uh oh, she’s clearly leading the pack…

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6. “Gee” – The Holy Grail song that launched them into superstardom. It’s a close tie between the cute-as-a-button Sunny & sweet Yoona, but I do not know why I feel obliged to award Yoona not only for this but for her overall consistency.

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7. “Genie” – & the winner is…all of their legs. This is for me the definitive tune for SNSD, & the track that introduced me to their heaven-thy-kingdom-come legs. But if I were to choose one face & am barred from choosing Taeyeon again, I would vote for Sunny, whom I almost forgot does long locks very very well.

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8. “Oh!” – Another complicated one. While a highschool cheerleader theme for these 9 girls seem like a sure-overkill, I don’t quite dig the pink+big curly hair section. But enter the next pompons-with-blue-singlets section & Sunny just knocks it out of the park with her desirability!

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9. “Run Devil Run” – Outstanding Taeyeon rampages over to the hot-vixen era, leaving behind the cute era. Absolutely explosive stuff. This is probably the easiest win.

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10. “Hoot!” – The Bond-girl theme was good stuff, & Sooyoung (who has the strongest cheekbones that complement her very beautiful face structure) rocks the look especially with that perfect hairdo.

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11. “The Boys” – Hmmm, wanted to give this to Jessica until I was reminded of Sunny‘s absolutely smashing short hairdo. Her transformation into this hot-blooded-sassy version of her was so enigmatic I almost wanted the other 8 girls to stay out of the picture. Well okay that’s harsh, at least Jessica & Yoona were worthy equals during the intro scene.

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12. “Mr. Taxi” – This marked the arrival of Sooyoung who before this started a lil’ rough but has matured into a full-bloomed porcelain beauty.

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13. “Bad Girl” – Love the song, love even more the choreography. But truth be told none of the girls truly rocked the bad girl look, so I’ll hand it over to young Seohyun as she made the most improvement & looked most convincing here.

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14. “All My Love Is For You” – While I missed Tiffany‘s all-natural look in the beginning & generally detest her recent increase in makeup & hair colour, I have to say, she looks incredibly perfect from every single camera angle in this gorgeous video.

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15. “I Got A Boy” –  A clear winner in Yuri! Whoever did her makeover & clothes absolutely hit a homerun. From the aviators, to the blue highlights of her hair, a smoking Yuri takes away the winner’s cheque away from the very consistently good-looking Yoona, whom I have noticed have been placed 2nd many times in my rankings.

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Final score:

1. Taeyeon – 4 wins
2. Sunny – 3 wins
3. Tiffany – 2 wins
4. Sooyoung – 2 wins
5. Yoona – 1 win
6. Yuri – 1 win
7. Seohyun – 1 win
8. Jessica – Nada
9. Hyoyeon – Negative 1
 

So in a surprising twist, Jessica Jung, voted world no. 5 most beautiful face in the recent 23rd Annual Independent Critics List of the 100 Most Beautiful Faces, gets no wins. Unsurprisingly of course, Kim Taeyeon wins everything as always :p.

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