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“It has been said that to write is to live forever. The man who said that is now dead.”

Category: Film

Hogwarts: A Decade

I could not have said it better.

The best 10 years (the books, 1997 – 2007) & another 10 years in between (the movies, 2001 – 2011) of my life.

Taken from http://9gag.com

 

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In Time: Give Me Back My Time

I’ve realized that I haven’t been blasting any ammo from my arsenal on movies for months now. That’s saying something as in the past I have truly enjoyed myself glossing or crucifying movies here. In fact, the whole summer blockbuster season of 2011 passed by without me saying anything about any of them. For the record, I did not share:

1. My overwhelming euphoria at the glorious, spectacular Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows Part II & X-Men: First Class

2. My grateful relief at the polished Captain America & Thor

3. My gleeful surprise at Rise of the Planet of the Apes & Bridesmaids

4. My wide-eyed wtf-is-this-shit face at The Green Lantern

5. My overblown ears as a result of Transformers: Rosie Huntington-Whiteley Is Hotter Than Megan Fox

6. My delirious mental condition at The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo’s mind-f**king (eyeball-f**king too) trailer

7. My busted stomach from all the laughter at Obedient Wives Club news clip on YouTube.

(No, I’m not going to taint my blog with any images related to that garbage)

So when I finally decide to express myself about a certain movie in what is my 100th blog post, it surely means that the movie either granted me a whole majestic moment of epiphany, close to converting me into a new religion, featured a mighty hot chick, or totally pissed me off.

Unfortunately, In Time gave me the latter.

Let’s see what was in this movie.

Firstly, Amanda Seyfried in a killer hairdo, with killer eyes. She didn’t even need to show off her best curves, just a tease was sufficient.

Secondly, I’m quite sure this is the MILF movie of the year. All the mothers were hot. If Olivia Wilde was anyone’s mother, everyone would have been a motherf**ker.

From left – Grandma, mom & daughter. I can’t even begin to share what’s going on in my mind & pants just looking at this image.

Next, you have Cillian Murphy as the Timekeeper. He’s not exactly the villain, but Murphy played this character with such ambiguous coolness a whole new TV series could have been made out of him.

Right. 3 absolutely amazing things going on there, & I haven’t even touched on the brilliant concept of this movie. The near future where humans either die or go Forever 25, time as currency, & Justin Timberlake is still alive. A plot that shouts heaven for sci-fi fans. This could have been the next The Matrix, the next The Fifth Element, the next District 9, the next Blade Runner, the next Dark City. But noooooooo, this will now be known as just another movie that featured the curly-haired boy from ‘N Sync.

Look, I put no blame on Timberlake. Frankly he did nothing offensively wrong here, he was quite harmless.

What pisses me so much is the fact that In Time could have been the next ground-breaking sci-fi movie of our generation. But instead of developing its potentially rich concept & the enigmatic character of Timekeeper in Cillian Murphy, it chooses to be mediocre by wasting precious time on an unengaging Timberlake & a misfiring romance.

Well…at least Seyfried looked absolutely delicious.

The Best Thing That Came Out Of France

Marion Cotillard.

When you speak of French actresses, you’d probably think Audrey Tautou. Or maybe to some extent, Carla Bruni.

I think of Cotillard. Oh the wonderful, exceptional talents of Marion Cotillard. She’s the one who seems to possess the gift of stealing every scene she is in, the one that shines above the rest, the one that is just simply pure, raw, beautiful talent.

Lilly Bertineau in Taxi, 1998

Sophie Kowalsky in Love Me If You Dare, 2003

Josephine Bloom in my favourite movie of all-time, Big Fish, 2003

Alice in Ma vie en l’air, 2005

Isabelle Kruger/Alice in The Black Box, 2005

Fanny Chenal in A Good Year, 2006

Finally, & most deservingly, with her Oscar in 2008 for La Vie en Rose, 2007

Billie Frechette in Public Enemies, 2009

Marie Vallières de Beaumont in The Last Flight, 2009

Luisa Contini in Nine, 2009

The absolutely frightening Mal in Inception, 2010

Marie in Little White Lies, 2010

Adriana in Midnight In Paris, 2011

Dr. Leonora Orantes in Contagion, 2011

& soon, Miranda Tate in The Dark Knight Rises, 2012

Don’t even get me started with that ridiculously sexy, endearing accent of hers.

Thor-rific, & I’m Talking About The Women

This, I Like.

This, I Love.

What I Learned From Sucker Punch: Music Is The Hotter Babe!

Sucker Punch is the movie of the century!

Okay I’m getting way over my head now. It is obviously not. But boy were they not joking when the posters claimed that “you will be unprepared”. If you follow this blog you would know that the author is inherently guilty of excessively-promoting & overly-anticipating this movie since  Gawd-knows-when. Yes, I totally got sucker punched – but even more by its unbelievable soundtrack. But let’s leave that to a later part of this.

PART I: THE MOVIE

Firstly, permit yours truly to just dive in straight to the fact that Sucker-Punch-is-the-most-visually-stunning-gloriously-exploitative-mess-of-a-movie-I’ve-ever-had-the-gleeful-opportunity-to-enjoy. (Breathe, breathe…)

It is every fanboy’s wettest of wet dreams & most fantastic of fantasies. You’ve got 5 women executing sublime moves & blasting bullets in clothes that are barely clothes. You’ve got snarling oversized samurai warriors zombies, dragons straight out of Harry Potter & the Goblet of Fire, Nazi cyborgs, a giant Bunny robot driven by an Asian hottie while still chomping on her lollipop, & shiny robot soldiers.

What is there possibly not to salivate over?

This will give your brain & senses an exhilarating yet exhausting endurance run like you probably never quite experienced before. The first 10 minutes feels like a long MTV video with a slick rendition of “Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This)”, but it was so engrossing. In fact, the last time I felt this stimulated by a movie opening scene was The Social Network. You are either going to just love it, or completely hate it. But if there’s one thing everyone will agree, it will be about how astonishing the visual thrills are. & nobody’s gonna complain about the girls. These are not your typical bombshells, for there is an enormous amount of talent in the acting arsenal in the likes of Abbie Cornish, Jena Malone & Emily Browning, who were all outstanding. Then you have the veteran, imposing elegance of a Swarovski-earring-wearing Carla Cugino, with Oscar Isaac in excellent bad-ass form as Blue.

Oh, remember the part about what is there possibly not to salivate over? I’ve got one. Vanessa Hudgens. Bleh. She was the sole sore point in this big screen roller-coaster. For that, I’m eternally grateful that they didn’t decide to pollute the soundtrack with her lack-of-vocals.

Now about the plot. Hmmmm, now this is going to be a tricky one. I don’t know whether if this is just me, but all the beautiful, adrenaline-rushing effects didn’t quite hide the fact that the storyline was actually quite deep & emotional! Yes you read me right. Critics will disagree, I’m very sure, but I actually felt there was something in the plot, & emotional (the last word in the dictionary I would have expected to be associated with Sucker Punch) it was! The story was presented amongst sequences of imaginary, completely outrageous, bamboozling action scenes that added no concrete plot value whatsoever, amassing in the most spectacular mess you’ve ever seen. & that’s a good thing by the way.

Leaving me breathless from all the euphoria is one thing, but sticking deep questions into my head is actually flabbergasting. What was real? Was the whole whorehouse world another layer, & the battle scenes a dream within a dream Inception-style? Were the 5 girls just a representation of characters in one single girl? Did Rocket’s death symbolize something deeper that was related to Baby Doll’s sister’s death? Was Baby Doll dancing actually something else in the real world that was more traumatizing? What was Vanessa Hudgens bloody doing in this movie? Why is Rosmah’s hair getting bigger & bigger? Ahhh, questions questions.

My favourite characters: Rocket & Sweet Pea!

I am at a complete loss of superlatives to lavish upon this movie; what I’m gonna say is just dive into the hall & enjoy this entertainment blockbuster, this is 300 with boobs. I’m a fan of Digital 2D now, so I’m going to have to say that it is mandatory for this movie in particular, so you will walk out of the hall like you’ve just got brain-electrocuted & delightfully-lobotomized. Or like you’ve just been force-fed with more weed than you could ever imagine.

PART II: THE MUSIC

This is the part where I got totally sucker punched. In the balls.

I wouldn’t be exaggerating when I declare the 9-song compilation, which is a remix of classics, one of the best soundtrack in the 25 years of my life. & trust me, my ears have heard a lot. You see, film music & soundtracks used to be just a sidekick to the main show. Slowly it became a crucial anatomy of a movie, sometimes even turning out to be bigger than the movie it was supposed to be accompanying. There are soundtracks that go well with the movie, where a good one will remind you of the scenes in the movie, & there are other soundtracks that stand well on its on. Sucker Punch’s is one of those rare gems that does both extraordinarily well.

The director himself has his imprints all over this with the roaring mash-ups & savagely-synthesized rock feel of the tracks. But you know what’s even more astounding? My favourite tracks, 3 of them in fact, were sung by Miss Baby Doll, Emily Browning herself. Now this is beyond spectacular. Kicking the album (& the movie) off is a haunting remix of “Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This)” that played throughout the sensational slow-mo opening sequence of the movie, a version I reckon will even send Marilyn Manson to delirium heaven. Having the actual main actress singing melancholics of “Asleep” & “Where is My Mind?” during those more emotional scenes produced results that I’m very sure even director Zack Snyder couldn’t possibly visualize. There I was thinking that there is another indie artist to be discovered, only to read in utter bewilderment the name Emily Browning in the singing credits. While being the most delicate & muted tracks in the album, the enchanting vulnerability Browning gives to “Asleep” & “Where is My Mind” actually produces the most intensely orgasmic results. ORGASMIC, that’s the word!

You also have the haunting vocals of Bjork & Emiliana Torrini, which adds a whole different dimension, & everything culminates quite nicely with “Love is in the Air” by Carla Cugino & Oscar Isaacs, just like in the credits. My favourite track has to be “Where Is My Mind” which pairs Yoav with Browning. Carla Azar’s “Tomorrow Never Knows” is starting to get heavy play on my iTunes as well – the interesting last quarter that hops into symphonic strings before resuming its rock anthem is quite genius.

This is one soundtrack that is destined for greatness. If the movie does not turn out to be a cult classic, this soundtrack will, if, that is, it already hasn’t.

PART III: THE GIRLS, & OTHERS

Now comes an interesting section. We all love the 5 girls – that’s the main 4 with Carla Cugino, not Vanessa Hudgens – keep up with me will you. Did you know that Amanda Seyfried, Emma Stone & Evan Rachel Wood were actually the first choices for the role Baby Doll, Amber & Rocket respectively? Let’s see how they measure up against the final chosen ones.

Baby Doll: Emily Browning vs Amanda Seyfried

Hmmm, both have that big-eyed cute effect. While admittedly, Seyfried has enough curves to make the movie feel like Pamela Anderson directed it, I actually loved the steely vulnerability Browning brought to Baby Doll. But what clearly proved Browning is a clear winner would be the undiscovered talent she had in her stunning vocals. So it’s Browning for me, wise decision Mr. Snyder!

Amber: Jamie Chung vs Emma Stone

Looks vs Zesty Talent. Chung’s Amber had not much to do aside from looking ridiculously hot sucking a lollipop & lording the skies in a bunny robot & big-ass planes, so Jamie Chung for that matter scorched that part. But it’s hard to resist imagining what an always-exciting Emma Stone could have brought to the table, especially after seeing her in Super Bad, Zombieland & her epic turn in Easy A. I think she would have totally evoke a whole different fiery dimension into the role of Amber, so my vote goes to Emma.

Rocket: Jena Malone vs Evan Rachel Wood

Shit, this is the hardest to judge. Malone’s Rocket was my favourite babe among all, she was just so feisty & adorably pixie-ish as the younger sister to Sweet Pea. Evan Rachel Wood on the other hand has one of the sweetest gorgeous characteristics around, & she does seem spot-on as Abbie Cornish’s younger sister. Personally, Rachel Wood is my favourite over Malone. But you know how this could have been perfect? Evan Rachel Wood as Rocket, & since Malone is just so versatile, she would have made a sublime Blondie, simply because Vanessa Hudgens should never have been considered at all.

“Who honors those we love for the very life we live? Who sends monsters to kill us, and at the same time, things that will never die. Who teaches us whats real, and how to laugh at lies. Who decides why we live, and what we’ll die to defend. Who trains us, and who holds the key to set us free. It’s you. You have all the weapons you need. Now fight!”

Bang Bang!

It’s not easy to upstage & completely outshine a stellar cast like Rachel Weisz, Adrien Brody & Mark Ruffalo. All at once.

But to do it with zero words (excluding singing) is just genuinely astonishing.

That’s Rinko Kikuchi’s hilarious role as Bang Bang for you.

The Brothers Bloom may have been out since 2008, but thanks to Star Movies’ trend of repeating the same movies again & again over a period of months, combined with the fact that I frequent hotels with the room TV as sole company far too often, I think I have seen it  in at least 10 of my stays around.

& Bang Bang’s delightful character has never failed to make my day.

“Redbull Is For Pussies”

This film starts off with a safe, standard, rip-off storyline that feels so familiar bordering on the teenage B-grade superhero stuff.

Alien stuck on Earth with protector. Alien happens to be a really kayu Alex Pussyfer but at least knows how to count up to four. Bad bald dudes with fake face tattoos called Mongolians (wait, that sounds wrong, was it Mogadorians? Mangodurians? Mocha Frappucinos?) going after him. Alien dude trying to fit into high school. Alien dude doesn’t quite hit it off with school bully, instead befriends nerd. Alien dude starts shooting lights out of his hands & jumping around waterfall cliffs without getting wet. Alien dude falls for a stunner who happens to be a loner (completely unreal!).

Okay, that also happens to be an impossibly sweet Dianna Agron.

Things only start to pick up when Number Six blazes in & whallops the Mongolians or Mangodurians.

My cinema hall audience erupted into applause after her fight scene. Everyone actually clapped hands, how cool is that! The last time I was in the hall & a movie evoked such response was for Batman Begins.

Can’t help it, a fiery Teresa Palmer was just way too awesome, executing slick moves with such attitude that could easily put Summer Glau’s similarly ass-whooping Cameron in The Sarah Connor Chronicles into the shade. By now I had trouble dividing my focus between the two blondes of Agron & Palmer, especially with Pussyfer’s No. 4 annoyingly appearing all the time. I mean, why are they even bothering to show him? Why are we still following his story? What? You mean this movie is not called I Am Number Six? Or I Am Hot Photographer Chick? Owh…

The following action scenes were pretty neat, I have to say. Throw in a valiant dog into the mix to “awwweeeeee” the teenage girls in the audience, & two mutated monsters which looked like offsprings belonging to the Cloverfield monster after it had intercourse with flying squirrels from Earth, & you have a very fun 2nd half. Oh, that’s also when Alien dude learns he is Son Goku, Luke Skywalker & Justin Bieber in one, knowing how to (1) “kame hame haaaa!!!” single handed style, (2) use the force to lift skirts – I mean, cars – as well as (3) causing No. 6 to achieve a sort of orgasmic seizure with his hands. Weeee.

“Redbull is for pussies”, she purrs in her Australian accent. Well, it’s a damn good thing I take Livita then.

No. 6 saving No. 4’s sorry ass in a rather suggestive, seductive pose. You gotta admit, she’s got style.

I Am Number Four may have been corny & unmemorable most of the time, but I can’t say I didn’t have a bloody entertaining time. Guilty as charged.

The brunettes may have won the battle, but I certainly had a jolly blonde weekend.

I almost forgot, to top off the cheesiness factor, Alien dude happens to be born with the OneGina disease. Riiiigggghhhhhhhhtttttt, “we only fall in love once” is a little too much for me to bear.

Blondes Vs Brunettes 2011 Edition

Before I ramble off, my prayers go out to the people of Christchurch.

I am in the mood. It’s one of those days where my hormones are just jumping off the walls to “Like A G6” or something. You have been fairly warned.

Let me break it down for you. I have 12 actresses in mind when I think of the biggest ones to look out for in 2011. What I’m going to do is split them into two teams & pit their potentials against each other. 6 blondes versus 6 brunettes; let the hair-pulling begin!

TEAM BLONDE 2011

Leader: Amber Heard

Have you seen The Stepfather? Or And Soon The Darkness? Or her legendary scenes in The Informers? If you haven’t, you better. She is without doubt the most ridiculously mind-blowing blonde ever shaped into a two-piece tiny bikini. Prepare tissues, not for tears you dumbass, for the blood that’s gonna be shooting violently out of your nostrils. After this early-year’s Drive Angry 3D (Heard in 3D, woot!), try not to completely dry up all your juices so you can also catch her seducing Johnny Depp in The Rum Diary.

Hotness: 5 (Freaking full points for her single performance in The Stepfather. Oh yes, All The Boys do Love Mandy Lane)
Talent: 2.5 (I don’t mind her hovering around bikini-goddess roles, but somebody do give her something to prove she’s more than that)


Blonde 1: Dianna Agron

Putting her lovely Quinn Fabray aside, she’s starting to get some silver screen time with I Am Number Four (which also has a kick-ass-looking Teresa Palmer)The Hunters, as well as I’ve-yet-to-see small roles in The Romantics & Burlesque. Screw this, I want to be her Number One & Number Last – her beauty is just out of this world.

Hotness: 5 (Full marks for being a supernatural stunner)
Talent: 3 (5 points if this was about her Glee exploits, but she’s new to the big screen)


Blonde 2: Emily Browning

As tirelessly promoted twice in this blog, Sucker Punch has a truck load of wild sexiness. The idea of seeing the luscious-lipped, adorable, doll-like Browning go berserk as a gun-wielding Japanese-mini-skirted blonde is akin to intense foreplay before you see her getting it on with the other 4 female ball-busters! She also has the advantage of “The Cheerleader Effect” (refer Barney from HIMYM) with such a band of babes sharing screen time with her, but will face stiff competition from the ruthless-looking Abbie Cornish & a scorching Jamie Chung . This is shamelessly a real man’s fantasy, so remind me to bring along my inhaler into the hall.

Hotness: 3 (Mostly for those lips)
Talent: 3.5 (Young talent)


Blonde 3: Jennifer Lawrence

I very much doubt anyone would be watching her in X-Men: First Class for her proven acting chops. Anyways, if that blue suit over-ugly-fies her & her curves,  her next role alongside Mel Gibson in Jodie Foster’s The Beaver should be interesting (no, that title does not refer to any part of Lawrence’s anatomy, you dirty wanker). If that bombs, we can always fall back on the other X-Men: First Class chicks, Rose Byrne & January Jones.

Hotness: 3.5 (Curves at the right places)
Talent: 4 (2010’s breakthrough aside from Tom Hardy)


Blonde 4: Blake Lively

Technically she’s a brunette in The Green Horn-, oops..Lantern, but we know her best as the blondie named Serena with legs that go on forever, so indulge me will ya. Besides, what’s more important is a female pilot with knockers such as hers is always worth checking out. Ryan Reynolds would be the perfect judge, since he did ditch Scarlett Johansson for greener pastures, so to speak.

Hotness: 3.5 (I know a lot of people think she’s drop dead gorgeous, but aside from her figure, sorry, when I think of her, I think of how much more gorgeous Leighton Meester’s Blaire is)
Talent: 2.5 (pretty much the same-o same-o)


Blonde 5: Rosie Huntington-Whiteley

Regardless whether she makes or breaks it, she has already hit big-time for being known as the model Michael Bay selected to replace Megan Fox’s slow-motion cleavage in Transformers 3: Bulan Sangat Gelap. First impression-wise however, I barely batted an eyelid.

Hotness: 2 (no comment, just not my type. Amber Heard would have been sizzling perfect here)
Talent: 1 (thankfully, we only care about the Autobots & Decepticons)


TEAM BRUNETTE 2011

Leader: Natalie Portman

While she conquered 2010 with one single insane performance in Black Swan, 2011 has her as an endearing sexed-up doctor in No Strings Attached, wearing a medieval thong in Your Highness, & in a sexy scientist coat (probably) in Thor. Massively talented, lovely, hardworking & has her fun side. What’s there not to love about Portman?

Hotness: 3.5 (always been a unique beauty, but THAT scene with Mila Kunis in Black Swan just elevated her hotness factor to epic proportions)
Talent: 5 (awards should be continuing in waves)


Brunette 1: Emily Blunt

There’s just something incredibly, incredibly lovable about Blunt. The pout, those deep eyes, that bloody endearing, distinctive accent. Every inch of her oozes with dazzling elegance in the The Adjustment Bureau trailer (frankly, I don’t think she has ever looked better). &, she was so good she made Gulliver’s Travels almost bearable. Her princess was really quite a hoot!

Hotness: 3 (not your conventional looker, but has genuine appeal that you simply can’t resist)
Talent: 4 (more than held her own against Meryl Streep in The Devil Wears Prada, among others. Now that’s saying something)


Brunette 2: Mila Kunis

Kunis defines the term intoxicating beauty & this year she’s going to be Friends With Benefits with Justin Timberlake. Can you blame Timberlake for looking like a complete doofus here? Hell I would sell my cows & goats to have Mila as my FWB. Her bed-wrestling-making-out scene with Natalie Portman in Black Swan was the reason for 60% of male orgasms in 2010 (the other 40% was due to Amber Heard’s bikini & Anne Hathaway’s boobs). Hang on, both Mila & Natalie are playing friends-with-benefits roles this year…bless them. On another note, an equally fabulous Emma Stone also appears in Friends With Benefits, but she’s a red-head & is disqualified from both teams.

Hotness: 5 (for her exotic – almost erotic, ahem – looks & raspy voice which will always remain eternally desirable, & her amazing dresses on the red carpet)
Talent: 4 (one of the most under-rated actresses around)


Brunette 3: Olivia Wilde

Those eyeeesss, aahhhhhhhh. Look at those eyeeesssssss. Damn. I’m betting all my goats that she will bring peace between the Cowboys & Aliens at the end of the movie, or wipe them all out with her death rays shooting out Cyclops-style. It should be quite a year for her eyeballs as she will also star in the sci-fi Now, & comedic ventures in Butter The Change-Up.

Hotness: 4.5 (I mean, those eyeeessssssss. 2.25 points for each eyeball)
Talent: 3 (she’s fine, but nothing too spectacular yet)


Brunette 4: Rooney Mara

Just waiting for this girl to explode. Initial hype & impressions from David Fincher’s The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo are ravishing & extremely promising, so this movie could very well define Mara’s career. Wait, the hair looks black…or is it super dark brown? Oh who cares! Perhaps I should relabel this battle Team Gold vs Team Dark next time around.

Hotness: 3 (bonus for producing killer images like the above)
Talent: 4 (She stole the first 10 minutes of The Social Network. I got me eye on you, Rooney)


Brunette 5: Jamie Chung

Jamie to Team Brunette is what Amber Heard is to Team Blonde, the ultimate epitome of hotness. She’ll have our balls in a twist in Sucker Punch & will knock a teeth or two out  in The Hangover 2. The poster above of her with a lollipop is already forcing guys to, um, stand up straight & pay attention.

Hotness: 4 (Did you see her in Grown Ups?)
Talent: 2.5 (should start branching out from her stereotyped Asian-hot-bitch roles)

The final count…

Team Blonde: Hotness = 22/30. Talent = 16.5 /30. Grand Total = 38.5/60.

Team Brunette: Hotness = 23/30. Talent = 22.5/30. Grand Total = 45.5/60.

While in terms of hotness Team Blonde takes an early lead thanks mainly to the exemplary leadership of Amber Heard (like I said, did you watch The Stepfather? I mean…HOLY COW!), they have 2 weak links. One, in the rather impact-less Blake Lively. Two, in Huntington-Whiteley they have a risk that might even end up as the biggest disaster in 2011. Besides, the accumulative big screen star power of Team Blonde is dim & untested at best. I’m surprised & really thought they would have at least edge out Team Brunette in the hotness count, but with too many fillers, I guess Heard & Agron just couldn’t save the day.

Team Brunette has way too much exciting talent in Portman, Blunt & Mara, coupled with an overdose concoction of sexiness in Wilde & Chung, with Kunis right in the middle bringing balance to the force by being outstanding at both factors. While Team Blonde is filled with yet-to-be-proven potentials still awaiting the chance to be unleashed, Team Brunette relies on a well-proven track record, the exceptional award-winning star power of team leader Portman, the stupendously all-round Kunis, & with each individuality complementing each other without a single weak link in the team. Yes, this team has just the right mix of potential in beauty & substance for 2011, lightening up the path of glory towards an undisputed, devastating victory.

Sooooo…Team Brunette wins this mindless face-off & has the edge on potential to kick-ass in 2011!

BRUNETTES TOTALLY OWNING, HELL YEAH!

& I wonder why I am in Engineering…

Misleading, Misguided. Brilliant!

I love it when this happens.

When movie trailers totally do not paint the right picture of the actual movie. When posters look totally misleading. In short, when the marketing team suck big time.

It happened to me with Bridge To Terabithia, years back. A trailer that made the movie into a Narnia-lookalike B-grade kiddy movie with really poor fantasy CGI & a very cute Zooey Deschanel as the hot music teacher.

That startling, moving movie, which really was about a coming-of-age mature tale of two lonely children & a very cute Zooey Deschanel as the hot music teacher, left me almost in tears.

Well, this instance repeated itself tonight.

Monsters. With a title like that, you already expect the worst, so I can’t blame you. The embarrassingly misleading trailers would confirm your worse fears. This is Skyline all over again. A Cloverfield/District 9 wannabe. & are those giant octopus aliens? Uh oh. Another mindless alien disaster movie.

WRONG.

Watch it without expecting anything whatsoever, like I did, & the undeniable impact will stay with you. This is a simple love story of two people under extraordinary circumstances. This is a poignant humanity tale told with a post-alien-invasion backdrop. This is Lost In Translation + After Sunset with a little of War of the Worlds serving as the backdrop. This, is just raw beauty.

Let you on another killer trivia: The filming was shot with 2 people using off-the-shelf cameras, with only 2 paid actors. The rest are extras acting on the fly, with on-site real-life situations manipulated into scenes. Budget? $15k. It’s amazing enough this film even existed.

2011 Must-watch Movies Before The World Apparently Ends in 2012

What? There’s only 1 more year before we have to book our flights to Singapore to board the “Noah’s Ark” (that’s the top deck of the Marina Bay Sands) before it deploys when the World ends in the following possible ways?

1. Massive floods like in “2012” & humanity’s hope rests with John Cusack
2. Everything freezes & humanity’s hope rests with Jake Gyllenhaal from “The Day After Tomorrow”
3. Lord Voldemort takes over & humanity’s hope rests on Daniel Radcliffe’s balls Emma Watson
4. The Egyptian President takes over the world & our hopes rest with The Expendables. Oh, I like my odds here.

Anyway, while you ponder on your Bucket List before you die in 1 year’s time, here’s my 15 most anticipated & must-watch movies for the year 2011, in an un-particular order.

Sucker Punch

Babes babes babes, & an overload of babes with big guns & kick-ass acrobatic chops. Gotta be the guiltiest of all guilty pleasures.

Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows Part 2

For me, the strongest reason to watch this is seeing Emma, Daniel & Rupert on the screen as our beloved trio for the last time.

Super 8

JJ Abrams – checked. Spielberg – checked. Killer trailer that reveals absolutely nothing – checked. Uncontrolled hysteric anticipation – checked checked checked!

Contagion

Something about a virus, but it’s the stellar cast (Matt Damon, Kate Winslet, Jude Law, Gwyneth Paltrow, Marion Cotillard, Laurence Fishburne) & Soderbergh as director that really really intrigues me.

Captain America: The First Avenger

The jury’s still out on Chris Evans. I really hope I don’t get confused in the cinema waiting for him to “flame on!” or expecting Jessica Alba to pop out.

Battle: Lost Angeles

While it looks at first take like a real B-grade stinker that might rival last year’s Skyline, the name Aaron Eckhart carries some weight. Worst case scenario, maybe I’d end up having a good bloody laugh, just like the hilarious romp that was Skyline. Okay okay, I’m a sucker for disaster movies.

Cowboys & Aliens

The title immediately rings “Stinkers!!!”, the trailer did not help (unless you count the audience giggling), but Jon Favreau & Spielberg are behind this, & you get to see James Bond, Han Solo & the best thing about Tron Legacy – the eyes & booday of Olivia Wilde, all together on the big screen.

The Hangover 2

Haha, the guys are coming back! The first was so original & outrageously awesome, you can only hope the sequel does not go down the American Pie dozens-of-B-grade-sequels route.

The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo

Never read the auhor’s post-death books, nor the Swedish original. But I’ve always been a fan of director David Fincher (Se7en, Fight Club, The Social Network), & I think the ever-talented Rooney Mara (looking superb above) was the most outstanding among all the brilliant things about The Social Network.

Transformers: Dark of the Moon

Regardless how exhausting, ridiculous & noisy it’s potentially going to be, I’d be a big fat liar if I said I wasn’t going to watch this on the silver screen.

X-Men: First Class

James McAvoy as the young Charles Xavier? Wow, I didn’t see that. What I want to see though, & what I’m already imagining uncontrollably, is Jennifer Lawrence (a blonde Mystique) all blue & naked. Seriously, think about it.

Sherlock Holmes 2

The first one was so entertaining & fun a sequel couldn’t possibly hurt. Besides, it’s Robert Downey Jr playing Robert Downey Jr with an accent. But no Rachel McAdams this time…rats.

Your Highness

2010 was Natalie Portman’s year, & it sure looks like she’s going to be unstoppable in 2011 too. It’s really nice to see she can let loose once in a while (she should be really interesting in No Strings Attached too!). Oh, there’s James Franco! & Zooey Deschanel! One can only hope this will turn out to be A Knight’s Tale + Pineapple Express.

The Adjustment Bureau

The lovely Emily Blunt is one of my favourites, & Matt Damon has always made solid choices.

Red Riding Hood

Amanda Seyfried’s boobs have deservingly taken out the “Little” from the movie title. I don’t know why I want to watch this especially since this comes “from the director of (insert big groan) Twilight”, but I suspect it has something to do with Gary Oldman.

& here are 10 notable misses of Movies-Everyone-Else-is-Anticipating-but-I’m-Like-Duh:

1. The Green Lantern

2. Twilight: The Final Battle to Decide Whether Taylor Lautner or Robert Pattinson is Hotter

3. Thor

4. The Smurfs

5. Scream 4

6. Pirates of the Carribbean: On Stranger Tides

7. Fast Five

8. Rise of the Apes (oh dear me)

9. Justin Bieber: Never Say Never (oh dear Lord)

10. Drive Angry 3D (on second thought, I’d watch anything with Amber Heard in it).

Hang on a sec, if everything ends come 2012, does that mean I won’t be able to see Anne Hathaway as Catwoman in The Dark Knight Rises? Aw man…

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