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“It has been said that to write is to live forever. The man who said that is now dead.”

Category: Idiot Box

There’s Just Something About The Other Glee Blonde

Hello imaginary people from across the cyberwires, physically or wirelessly. Mr. Fabray here is back with another Glee-raving entry. No, I’m not going to announce another petition for more Quinn screen time & solos. Nor am I going to moan about the complete lack of passion thrown into Sectionals & Regionals, or about the awkward overstay of Gwyneth Paltrow (one shot at Cee-Lo is bearable, but what the hell was she doing barging in between Santana & Brittany’s “Landslide”, or worse, mutilating Adele? Ok stop, I said I wasn’t going to moan…)

Although my preference is & has always been brunettes, everyone knows I’m totally into Quinn. She’s my no.1 blonde, as you can clearly read here in There’s Just Something About Q. In Glee & outside (Amber Heard is a close 2nd at the moment). But while she had a great plot in Season 1, clearly the writers have embarassingly destroyed any character development Quinn had in Season 2 (still goes around the school looking nothing less stunning though). Thankfully, the 2nd blonde in Glee has managed to step up.

Brittany Susan Pierce, you are undisputedly Season 2’s outstanding Glee character. Brittany has had numerous defining moments; from owning the dance floor through Britney’s & Kei$ha’s numbers to being a hottie who shines with superb dressing outfits. However, she will forever be known best for her klutzy, delightful deadpanness & her outrageous WTFF one-liners. There’s never going to be another such a lovable dumb blonde. With that in mind, I’ve compiled 66 of my favourite Brittany lines & moments to date, in no particular order of preference or episode. Get your Santana-WTF face on.

1. “Did you know dolphins are just gay sharks”

2. “I’ve lived my entire life in Britney’s shadow and I will never be as talented or famous. I hope you all respect that I want Glee Club to remain a place where I, Brittany S. Pierce, can escape the torment of Britney Spears.”

3. “I’m pretty sure my cat is reading my diary.”

4. “I’m Mike Chang”

5. “People think I went on vacation, but actually I spent all summer lost in the sewers”

6. “Coach Beiste didn’t touch my boobs. Truth is, I sort of want to touch her boobs.”

7. (After seeing Santana & Quinn fight) “Stop the Violence”

8. Will: “What’s a ballad?” Brittany: “It’s a male duck”

9. “Because my name is also Brittany Spears. My middle name is Susan, my last name is Pierce. That makes me Brittany S. Pierce, Brittany Spears.”

10. (After Rachel uses a metaphor of not strangling a little bird, but letting it fly, to describe her relationship to Finn) “Finn can fly?”


11. “I don’t brush my teeth, I rinse my mouth with soda after I eat. I was pretty sure Dr. Pepper was a dentist.”

12. “I thought heart attacks were from loving too much.”

13. (On Jesse) “Mr.Schue, is he your son?”

14. (To Santana) “I’m mad at you … but you’re still so hot.”

15. (On why she likes Mr. Schue) “Mr. Schue taught me the second half of the alphabet. I stopped after M and N. I thought they sounded too similar and got frustrated.”

16. (Points to breasts, shakes fingers – “no” – at Santana)

17. (Gives a t-shirt to Santana with ‘Lebanese’ written on it – instead of ‘Lesbian’)

18. “If we lose, we should throw possums.”

19. “Puck’s like the dumbest person on the planet, and that’s coming from me.”

20. (Looking at Jacob Ben Israel’s afro) “It looks like a Jewish cloud”

21. Will: “What’s a duet?” Brittany: “It’s a blanket.”

22. “I’m paralyzed with fear. I’ve been here since second period. I really need to pee.”

23. Will: “Who is Christopher Cross?” Brittany: “He discovered America”

24. “The key is to use your curling iron in the bathtub to keep you from being burnt.”

25. “I wore a tank top today because I thought it was summer. Nobody ever taught me how to read a calendar.”

26. (After Brittany announces she’s expecting a baby) Will: “Wait. Brittany have you been to a doctor yet? That’s the only way to be sure.” Brittany: “I don’t need to go to a doctor. I just need to look outside my window. Three days ago, a stork built its nest on top of my garage. I’m not stupid. I’m pretty sure it was getting ready to bring my baby.”

27. (On the counselor) “She is the one they made me talk to when they found out I was keeping the bird in my locker”

28. (Mr Schue writes ‘Love’ on white board) “Ok guys I have one word for you” Brittany: “Is it love? I’m totally gonna graduate now!”

29. “Is God an evil dwarf?”

30. Rachel: “I want my allowance back!” Brittany: “You can’t. My uncle lost his job and he couldn’t afford food for his goat, so I spent the money on it. Well, sorta. The goat just ate the money.”

31. “Sometimes I forget my middle name.”

32. “It’s the Glee club with the football team… it’s like a double rainbow. A zombie double rainbow.”

33. Quinn: “There’s a fair amount of the pot calling the kettle black now.” Brittany: “That’s so racist.”

34. “Did you get a leg transplant?”

35. Will: “What’s a ballad?” Brittany: “It’s a male duck.”

36. (Will then pulls out a hat) Brittany: “I bet the duck’s in the hat.”

37. Brittany: “I really like when we make out and stuff.” Santana: “Which isn’t cheating because?” Brittany: “The plumbing’s different.”

38. “Most teachers think that by cutting class, I might improve my grades.”

39. “Rachel, I’m gonna give you some tough love right now. You’re not a trendsetter. When people look at you, they don’t see what you’re wearing, they see a cat getting its temperature taken, and then they hear it screaming.”

40. Will: “Who can tell us what an anthem is?” Brittany: “The bottom of an ant’s pant.” Will: “So close.”

41. “I don’t wanna die yet. At least not until One Tree Hill gets canceled.”

42. “Remember: even the smallest envelope is heavy for an elf.”

43. “Last year I left my stocking up over Christmas vacation and an entire family of mice starting living in it. Their Christmas gift to each other was rabies.”

44. Artie: “We all know you can do it.” Brittany: “I know that I can’t. Just like I know the cricket that reads to me at night is totally stealing my jewelry.”

45. (On tater tots) “They look like deep fried deep poop.”

46. Kurt: “What are you going as for Halloween?” Brittany: “I’m going as a peanut allergy”

47. Artie: “I thought I was over someone, but I still think I have feelings for them.” Brittany: “The Clintons?”

48. Tina: “Last week we were too sexy, this week we’re too religious — we can’t win.” Brittany: “Now I know how Miley feels like.”

49. “Whenever I pray, I fall asleep.”

50. “Please don’t pull out all my teeth. I’ll look like an adult baby, but with boobs.”

51. Mr. Hummel: “If things get serious, use protection.” Brittany to Kurt: “Does he mean like a burglar alarm?”

52. “You’re pretty much the only guy in this school I haven’t made out with because I thought you were capital G gay. But now that I know you’re not, having a perfect record would mean a lot to me. Let me know if you wanna tap this.”

53. “I’ve been here since first period. I had a cold and I took all my antibiotics at the same time and I forgot how to leave.”

54. “I don’t know how to turn on a computer.”

55. “The way to get a man to follow you forever, take his virginity. Madonna wrote a song about it.”

56. “When I pulled my hamstring, I went to a ‘massage-onist’ (misogynist).”

57. Brittany: “You’re a really good dancer.” Finn: “Thanks, but my feet weren’t really dancing.” Brittany: “That was the best part.”

58. Santana: “Having sex is not dating.” Brittany: “If it were Santana and I would be dating.”

59. Mr. Schue: “Brittany, take it away.” Brittany: “Take what away?”

60. Rachel: “Where’s Quinn?” Brittany: “Probably down at the mall looking for elastic waist pants.”

61. “So, Hairography. It works best when you pretend like you’re getting tasered. So you just move your head around and pretend like you’re spazzing and stuff. You guys, it’s like cool epilepsy.”

62. “Your hands are really soft. Seriously, they feel like a baby. Now I know what it’s like to date a baby.”

63. Carl: “I will put you under anesthesia, you won’t feel a thing.” Brittany: “Like roofies?”

64. “Someday, I’m gonna go to Paris and visit the oeuvre.”

65. Santana: “Everyone knows my job here is to look hot.” Quinn: “My baby hormones make me moody.” Brittany: “There’s so many words!”

66. “I’m more talented than all of you. I see that now. It’s Brittany…(pauses) bitches.”

So if you think reading these make you snort like mad, you should watch her execute those lines in her trademark deadpan nature. Oh don’t we all just looooove her!

References: http://glee.wikia.com/

Kate Becomes Catherine

Blimey.

I am in awe of Kate Middleton. In one day, she was just, simply, unblemished classiness defined.


Poised.

Elegant.

& most significantly, radiant.

She was, for that one day at least, a picture of perfection.

She did it.

I Have Been Diagnosed With A Terminal Obsession, Indefinitely

A random dude had this to express on IMDB about Quinn Fabray’s Dianna Agron:

“She has supernatural beauty.”

I whole-heartedly raise my glass in complete, hopeless agreement to every of the 4 words uttered.

She has made me fall in love. Again.

& again.

aaannnd again.

All that, in one single episode.

So tell me, how could you possibly not fall heads over heels for her?

I need a doctor…call me a doctor…

+  +  +  +  +  +  +

On a different note, or rather, a different kind of obsession…

4.3″ Super Amoled Plus. Orion 1GHz dual-core processor. 1GB RAM.

All within a grasp of 8.49mm.

Read the first takes here.

Missing Someone. Missing Them.

Boy do I miss these girls!

“At this moment, there are 6,470,818,671 people in the world.
Some are running scared.
Some are coming home.
Some tell lies to make it through the day.
Others are just now facing the truth.
Some are evil men, that war with good.
And some are good, struggling with evil.
6 billion people in the world.
6 billion souls.
And sometimes, all you need is one.”

– Peyton Elizabeth Sawyer, One Tree Hill Season 3 Episode 1, aired on October 5th, 2005 –

The Glee Hit List: 25 Of The Best, So Far

Update: The adorable “Marry You” performance from S2E8 storms straight into no. 16 13, kicking out Vocal Adrenaline’s “Rehab” out of the  original 25!

Today finds me sitting wondering what on earth is Glee Season 2 all about. Is there a story somewhere there? Sure, Episode 8 was a refreshing rebound, but still, I think they were supposed to be focusing on seriously winning sectionals & regionals for this season, but guest stars are threatening to take over the show. Not enough with pushing aside the Glee members, they even tried to get the ever-lovely Gwyneth Paltrow to attempt to replace Mr. Schuester! You see, it’s been 8 episodes in so far for Season 2 & not a single background storyline is in sight. Heck, at this point in Season 1, they already reached the point of Quinn’s pregnancy going public dramatically among others.

Greetings earthlings, it’s that time of the month again, no not that time, but the time for me to compile pointless list of my favourite pointless something-somethings for my own pointless personal fun of pointlessness. I think you get my point.

This time it is going to be about Glee. See, what I’m going to do is to share with you’all my personal extremely-biased list of 25 of the best performances from the series to date, which means from Season 1 all the way to one third of Season 2. Drum rolls please.

25. “Loser” by Puck, Finn, Sandy, Howard, Terri & the Sheets-n-Things employees (S1E21 – Funk)

This was so quick but absolutely fun. Face it, Puck rapping with a guitar makes a killer move, & when the whole gang of random people just jumped in for the chorus, it was hilarious!

24. “Sing!” by Mike & Tina (S2E4 – Duets)

Only 3 entries from Season 2 made it into this list thus far, & one of it is this delightful surprise from Mike & Tina. This is what I would call a true duet – bringing out the best through each other’s strengths & weaknesses. The attempt is sweet & an absolute joy to watch. Quinn & Sam’s lovely duet may have been chosen as the winner, but it was Mike & Tina’s episode-stealer that remained most memorable. Loved how it totally caught everyone off guard.

23. “I Say A Little Prayer” by Quinn, Santana & Brittany (S1E2 – Showmance)

There was no way Mr. Schuester could have denied entry to the Glee club for the 3 Cheerios with such a seductive, tantalizing performance like that. The swaying, the oh-so-cute put-on-my-make-up choreography, & with Quinn looking like that…hmm, no way in hell.

22. “Like A Prayer” by New Directions (S1E15 – The Power of Madonna)

This was always going to be a hit episode when the Queen of Pop took center stage (especially channeled hilariously through coach Sue Sylvester), but the closing performance with the whole choir was just tremendous. What was extra special was when the solo batons were passed to Finn, Kurt & Mercedes – it reached heavenly proportions. Okay I admit, Kurt’s small part stole the show.

21. “Alone” by April Rhodes & Will Schuester (S1E5 – The Rhodes Not Taken)

If there was an award for best guest star of Season 1, it would go to Kristin Chenoweth hands-down. She’s like a small ball of boundless zany energy. Besides, if you can pull-off this legendary number by Heart, it was a sure win. Mr. Schuester’s vocals did pretty well to blend in too by the way.

20. “Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)” by Kurt, Tina, Brittany, & the McKinley High football team (S1E4 – Preggers)

While I almost fell off my chair when this episode started without warning with the sight of Kurt, Tina & Brittany in body-tight suits attempting to pull-off Beyonce’s ball-busting dance moves, I was laughing (in a good way) by the end when the whole football team used these moves to win the game. Hilarious & effective.

19. “Sweet Caroline” by Puck & New Directions (S1E8 – Mash-Up)

I think this was the first solo by Puck, & shit was it a surprise. Not the fact that a Neil Diamond classic is being sung by a mohawk punk, just surprised that it was that good. As previously admitted, the Puck-with-a-guitar angle is a real lady-killer.

18. “Last Name” by April & New Directions (S1E5 – The Rhodes Not Taken)

Here comes Kristin Chenoweth again to save the team after the overbearing Rachel abandoned them for greener pastures. Besides, I like the whole cowboy costume & choreography. I loved this performance more than “Somebody to Love” that followed, especially after they gave Rachel center stage again right after she came back. Bleh.

17. “Teenage Dream” by Dalton Academy (S2E6 – Never Been Kissed)

The 2nd entry from Season 2 is from the Dalton boys & Kurt’s new muse, Blaine. The moves were cute, but the a cappella  (no matter how heavily engineered) arrangement elevated Katy Perry’s dull song to almost-great levels. Loving it!

16. “Keep Holding On” by New Directions (S1E7 – Throwdown)

Who would have ever thought an Avril Lavigne song could be this emotional. With Quinn’s pregnancy blown wide-open to the school, the team rallied behind Quinn through this song. This was the most difficult to place in the list because musically this arrangement was a mess. However, Quinn’s complication that was channeled through the song & the emotions evoked made it perfectly beautiful. Ending the song with Quinn’s literally breathtaking exhales was genius.

15. “Lean On Me” by New Directions (S1E10 – Ballad)

This was a perfect example of exactly what we loved about Glee – when it was still all about heart, the storyline drove & expressed the songs that were performed; not the other way round like in Season 2. After the emotional heart-wrenching scene between Quinn & her parents, fellow Glee members gathered to perform Bill Wither’s uplifting classic to let Quinn & Finn know they always have Glee club to depend on. While musically it was really good, what made it extraordinary was seeing everyone coming together with such passion. Plus, a smiling teary-eyed Quinn never looked more lovely & radiant. Teehee~this list is seriously looking more & more biased!

14. “Gold Digger” by Mr. Schuester & New Directions (S1E2 – Showmance)

Sometimes the best performances are during rehearsals, especially performed with such natural fun. The moment Mercedes kick-started it diva-style, I already had my head bopping to it. Whatever Mr. Schue slightly lacks in rap, he makes it up with his smooth dance moves. Miles better than Kanye’s, not even the awkward gamboling of Finn could distract us from this gem.

13. “Marry You” by New Directions (S2E8 – Furt)

Yes, this is the last-minute addition in this list which forced itself straight into no. 13. This episode was a back-to-form rebound of sorts for Season 2 with some drama substance (Kurt’s bullying, Sue’s mom). Not all was gloomy as the wedding offered the chance for New Directions to remind us they know how to show us a good time. Bruno Mars’ “Marry You” was a refreshing choice as the uplifting walk-down-the-aisle performance, & the whole routine was adorable & zesty! Plus, the girls were alluring in their red dresses – Santana looked dangerously sexy, Quinn’s sweetness was demure, & Rachel for the first time in some time was not annoying & actually looked rather pretty! Overall, this is by far the best performance & the best episode of Season 2 as of now.

12. “Papa Don’t Preach” by Quinn & Puck (S1E11 – Hairography)

Rarely given the chance to shine on her own, the acoustic move pairing Quinn’s rather peculiar-sweet vocals with Puck’s guitar was surprisingly awesome in the most subtle way, but Puck & the 3 horny kids weren’t the only ones who couldn’t take their eyeballs off Quinn’s sexy moves. & to think she can achieve such feverish level of hotness while she was already pregnant & in one of those loose pregnant-women tops. No I’m not as biased as you think I am, this was actually superb. Sing it again!

11. “Poker Face” by Rachel & her mom, Shelby (S1E20 – Theatricality)

The acoustic version done by Gaga on one of her best tracks is covered almost perfectly by Lea Michelle & another good guest star choice, Idina Menzel. The whole Gaga episode was fantastic & this track, done accompanied only by Brad on the piano was a luminous breather. The diva pairing of mom & daughter had just the right amount of sentimentality balanced with vocal prowess.

10. “Bohemian Rhapsody” by Vocal Adrenaline (S1E22 – Journey)

We finally arrive at the top 10, & again it kicks off with a competitor. First of all, I utterly can’t stand Jesse’s screeching vocals & his asking-to-be-punched expression. Casting that aside, Vocal Adrenaline performed this was such gusto & elaborate arrangements you could hardly blink. Interlacing the god-like Queen anthem melody & lyrics perfectly with Quinn’s painful baby delivery experience was intense, climatic & exhilarating stuff. Top-notch.

9. “Bad Romance” by New Directions females…& Kurt (S1E20 – Theatricality)

This was easy. The Glee females, all dressed up in Gaga attire, & Kurt team up to cover the definitive Gaga number. Enough said. Nice to see Santana being given the chance to kick some vocal ass too – especially when she totally nailed it.

8. “Take A Bow” by Rachel, Mercedes & Tina (S1E2 – Showmance)

Remember back when Rachel was still not that annoying & we haven’t had the chance to get tired of her? Well, this performance would be the perfect reminder. Lea channeled teenage love & anguish through this number flawlessly, setting this miles above Rihanna’s effort, both emotionally & vocally. You could almost feel the pain Rachel felt after seeing Finn getting back together with Quinn just after he kissed Rachel. Aww, the sweet painful teenage crush.

7.  “Imagine” by New Directions (S1E11 – Hairography)

After the mad “hairography” performance by the “hairy” New Directions members, the deaf glee club members performed John Lennon’s “Imagine” with sign languages & “talking” by the lead. Feeling foolish, Mercedes & New Directions joins in mid-way & together they finish off the song with both singing & sign language. Damn this almost felt like a cheap shot, & you could also view it from another angle where New Directions blatantly butted-in & stole the show, which I’m sure wasn’t the intention of the Glee camp. Anyway, I felt it was poignant & it almost could have left me with a little tingle of tears in me eyes.

6. “Don’t Rain On My Parade” by Rachel (S1E13 – Sectionals)

Just when all hopes were lost, we finally realize how important Rachel is when she steps up to steal the show. Say what you like, her solo performance was more than a kick-off, it was vocally mind-blowing. So much so it totally overwhelmed the whole team’s performance of  “You Can’t Always Get  What You Want” after that. Too bad, it was really like The Rachel Berry Sectionals Show rather than New Directions winning it. Rachel’s star never shined so bright.

5. “The Journey Medley” by New Directions (S1E22 – Journey)

I’m referring to the whole Regionals performance of course, that first had Finn & Rachel doing “Faithfully”, before the whole gang knocked up a couple of gears with the energetic mash-up of “Any Way You Want It” & “Lovin’, Touchin’, Squeezin'” before ending most appropriately with “Don’t Stop Believin'”, the one that started it all. I loved the fact that they gave Puck & Santana a section of the solos. What sets this apart from Vocal Adrenaline’s more elaborate & choreographed-to-every-detail winning performance was the heart & passion pouring through New Directions as they performed, especially relatable since we have been with them throughout their entire journey till Regionals. Not as great as the the mid-season finale, but still, this was classic Glee stuff.

4. “My Life Would Suck Without You” by New Directions (S1E13 – Sectionals)

What made the mid-season finale the better “finale” was not their Sectionals performance, but this dedication to Mr. Schue from the Glee club members. Performed with amazing exuberance & enthusiasm, the Glee members showed selected sequences of previously performed moves from the first half of the season songs, making this a wonderful half-season recap as much as a show of their love for Mr. Schue. It also reminded us of what a terrific season Glee has been, & a promise of more to come.

3. “True Colours” by New Directions (S1E11 – Hairography)

Episode 11 was a fairly weak episode, but it had 3 outstanding songs, & this was the best of the lot. I loved the sweet simplicity of it, having the members sitting down in plain casual multi-coloured tees, singing about honesty & togetherness in diversity. Especially with so much drama going behind in the story at that point. Besides, Tina gets the solo, which is an extra sweet bonus. Yes, simple is sometimes better.

2. “Defying Gravity” by Kurt & Rachel (S1E9 – Wheels)

The ultimate Glee diva showdown between the unbelievable vocals of Kurt vs the impressive range of Rachel, the song choice could not have been more spot-on. On an emotional level we were definitely rooting for Kurt, but you can’t deny the prowess Rachel had shown. Having Kurt ending by going intentionally off-tune was a real dramatic kick, which left it with a more resonating affecting end.

1. “Don’t Stop Believin'” by New Directions (S1E1 – Pilot)

Well, was there any doubt of which track would reign supreme? It was always going to be very first performance by the  6 original core members of New Directions (don’t forget Artie who was on guitars!) singing in front of an empty auditorium before Mr. Schue came in. It was the perfect song choice about hope & not giving up, just when Glee Club looked doomed from the start & Mr. Schue was on his way out. I don’t care how overplayed it is by now, this is the song started everything, inspired all, & pretty much defined everything Glee was all about.

Pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa…

There’s Just Something About Q

Many of us all love Glee for multiple reasons.

There’s the music of course. The cheerful vibrant mood & the harmless fun. Who can deny the awesomeness of Coach Sue Sylvester? Or Mr. Schuester’s suaveness & moves? Or Puck’s massive egoistic charm?

Sure, the 2nd season has nothing to shout about so far. The covers & remixes (or lack of) are getting a little too unoriginal & just seems to just be there for the sake of being there. Example? Look at how Lea Michelle butchered & excessively wailed through “The Only Exception”. As a matter of fact, there have been only 3 noteworthy things to remember so far. First, the cute but saucy toilet-duet (or should I say duel) of “Telephone” where a refreshing Charice kicked Lea’s butt, followed by an all-guns-blazing Brittany channeling Britney Spears & looking remarkably hot doing that.

&, the return of the ever-gorgeous Quinn Celeste Fabray.

I’ve said it before & I’ll say it again – to me, Quinn Fabray is the ultimate blonde, & the ultimate cheerleader. Yes, Miss overbearing-sulky Hayden Panettiere, Dianna Agron’s Quinn is who I’d really call a friggin’ hot cheerleading captain.

Quinn is someone whose beauty & attractiveness is vastly under-rated from pictures & stills. She’s someone you need to embrace when in motion. From dancing & looking ridiculously stunning in “Say A Little Prayer For You”, to when she pranced around singing “Papa Don’t Preach” (HOTTTT) with Puck, I was hopelessly owned.

Sure, she looks hot among many other things, but her evil death stares are on a whole different level. That single ruthless stare is equally as malevolent as it is wickedly seductive.

When Quinn shot that dazzling smile of hers, rainbows parted the skies, & our hearts melted with sprinkles of warmth. Her laughs would create male orgasms across the planet.

Just when you thought Quinn couldn’t get any more interesting, a shock twist in the 1st half of Season 1 in which she got pregnant was thrown at us. Agron soften our hearts with an incredibly poignant potrayal of Quinn’s fragile conflicted side. Now that’s just a killer – we all love to see the gentle frail side of a queen bee bitch, especially played with such aplomb by Agron. That heart-wrenching scene between Quinn & her parents was particularly memorable.

& it’s not just that. She’s got a cute unique voice (not her best but still, cute), her moves are always an extra joy to watch & her stage personality is always always memorable despite limited screen time. Remember those last few breaths of hers in “Keep Holding On”? They left me…well, breathless. & ooohh..she totally rocked the Gaga look!

Preggers but still bloody hot, lol.

So now that she’s gone through all the downs of Season 1, it is awesome & satisfying to see Quinn Fabray back in total mojo control as the Cheerios captain!

Strangely, I seem to be the only male representative who is totally smitten by Quinn’s allure & individuality. My bros keep saying I’m over-rating her, & even more baffling, I have many female friends who are instead on my side! Guys, what’s there not to like? She blazes with molten hot sexiness, demure beauty & eternal sweetness! She’s the most ruthless yet endearing (oxymoron alert!) bitch ever seen on screen! She’s like hot muffins but completely made out of muffin tops! She’s like an overdose of Häagen-Dazs! She would turn Kurt straight if it were in the real world!

Now, before you start thinking I’ve gone a little bonkers & am beginning to sound like I’m spreading some blonde-female-worshiping-religious-fanaticism-version of Robbert-Pattinson-mania, my whole point here is simple – I want more solos & screen time for Agron’s Quinn. Sure, Lea Michelle’s vocal range is vast, but I’ve had just about enough of the over-wailing & over-the-top facial expressions. The upcoming episode 4 duet between Quinn & the new kid looks really promising (man it was sweet), so it does look like New Directions is pointing in the right direction.

Till then, I’m just gonna sit here & fantasize about being Puck when Quinn mischievously cracked an egg on his head, which then erupted into a real messy baking mêlée.

Craaaaccckk! Yummy.

Or I’d settle with Quinn fretting my chords on the guitar…

“Lucky” is an understatement.

Sigh.

Of Stunning Women & 1 Who Can’t Sing

Latest entry into ‘Bizarre Facts About My Country’: “Operasi Sayang Remaja” & “Valentine’s Day Trap”, coming to your town soon, to check your panties! How they gonna do that beats me…

I’ll start with the one who brings karaoke to a whole new level.

Taylor Swift – 8 Grammy Nominations. 4 Grammys. & she can’t even sing in tune.

Look, let me first say I really really REALLY want to NOT hate her. To be honest, I have not much against her, I find her pretty sweet (to the point of being a little annoyingly fake) but ultimately, negligible. I’ve refrained very much from completely blowing my top on her songwriting skills attempts for months now, while continuing to snort in silence at her live performances. Now however, seems like the about-time moment to let loose some of my long-suppressed Cowellness. It only took me this long to confirm that Taylor Swift can’t sing because the last time I saw her live, it was a duet with Miley Cyrus. Alongside a constipated-walrus-on-helium-sounding Cyrus, Swift actually seemed good. Go figure.

Stevie thinking whatthehellamIdoinghere

Let’s just focus on her utterly embarrassing Grammy performance. To put it plainly, she was off-key, she was struggling, & she completely tanked. & I don’t mean there were moments of it, it was the entire excruciating 3-song live session. Randy would have said “pitchy”, Paula would have muttered sheepishly “I think you look really gorgeous today” (which I would beg to differ, I would give it to Swift’s Taylor Koa) & Cowell, on a good day that is, would rate it as “nauseating, utter rubbish & a complete mess”. Yes, the legendary Stevie Nicks was the completely wrong pairing as well, but nothing could have been more annoyingly obvious than Swift’s shocking lack of vocal ability. Yup, I said shocking, even more shocking than Katy Perry’s cleavage.

Seriously?!

Even her onstage antics were a little too desperate for me. No Miss Swift, you can’t always get away by flashing your dazzling smile & that cutesy “humble” look.

Believe me, we are as OMG as you are, Taylor

Now before all you Swiftards start defending her by saying she’s really “young”, & she is ” a great songwriter”, or that she is “the most honest writer of recent times” or whatever other crap you can muster, let me just say one thing: She won 4 f-ing Grammys, so singing A LITTLE in tune live is a minimum requirement. After all, it’s the least she could do seeing that her songs are harmless forgettable tunes with naive lyrics. She’s 20, not some 11-year-old pre-puberty blondie. & yes, though she does write from the heart, let’s be frank here, her lyrics are amateurish at best. Stating that she is a talented writer is like claiming that Katy Perry has small boobs. I have to admit, Swift’s record sales & popularity justifies her great success, especially in 2009. Her melodies are easy on the ears & bubble-gummish, but seriously, Album of the Year? Her collection of repertoires is more HARMLESS than FEARLESS.

Right, I sound extremely pompous now, so let me bring myself back to earth a little. Taylor Swift is the kinda girl your mom & dad would not just love, but would encourage you to adore. She’s really quite harmless, & she warrants her radio-overplaying periods. I do not mind even in the slightest having someone like Swift around on the airwaves & on the tube, especially when she is as delightfully easy-on-the-eyes as Swift is. I haven’t forgotten that credit is due for her brave performance right after being dissed onstage by Kanye. But 4 Grammys? Let’s face it, Lady Gaga‘s monstrously fantastic album deserves everything more than Swift, & truth be told I don’t even believe Swift deserved most of the nominations. Besides, Carrie Underwood beats Swift anytime as the artist who does the country-pop crossover better, aside from the glaring fact that Underwood’s vocals are tremendous (& personally, Underwood’s much cuter too). Thankfully though, Beyoncé won enough that night so there was no need for another “charitable” display.

Cause we all know a lot of people would gladly do a Kanye if they could after that Grammy night.

By the way, now that we’ve established Swift’s performance as the worse of Grammy night (& probably of the century), my favourites of the night were Green Day‘s passionate kick-ass “21 Guns” with American Idiot & the very much under-rated Pink in complete glittering form. & let’s all stand up for Kings of Leon‘s deserving “Use Somebody” Grammy win!

Right then, enough about Taylor Swift’s karaoke session & Katy Perry’s assets. A lot has been said about The Blind Side, an inspiring but sometimes a-little-too-good-to-be-true based-on-a-true-story movie about a black man’s journey to the summit of American football, mainly because Sandra Bullock gave a performance that was so good I could almost cry for her. But unfortunately, being the man that I am, what stayed in my mind even more was…

Can you all say WHOA WHOA WOW…

Uh oh!

Lily Jane Collins. She’s Sandra Bullock’s daughter in the movie. This chick is certified drop dead hot. Those eyes, coupled with those eyebrows, man…that could melt me in an instant’s instant. Hell I wouldn’t mind breaking a few hundred bones & cracking a couple of shoulder blades on the pitch for her. Kicks Swift’s “sweetness” out of the window anytime man. She’s Phil Collins’ daughter, & ladies & gentlemen, she slots into my young favourites’ list alongside AnnaSophia Robb & Dakota Fanning, etc etc, easily.

& in line with the topic of stunning gorgeous women, I think many of you have noticed Burberry‘s latest 09/10 ad campaigns (they’ve been up for quite a while). I know I did, honestly, how could I possibly not, with Emma Watson growing into such a hottie like that? I mean, no offense to Hermione Jane Granger, but look at what the Potter movies have been holding back on Emma!

These behind-the-scenes shots are even better!

Uh oh!

Are you salivating yet fellow wankers? If you’re not, then it’s high time to reset your polar coordinates to the north pole, if you get what I mean.

Latest entry into ‘Word of Advice Before Entering My Country’: “Hold on to your panties!”

To Yasmin

Yasmin Ahmad, 1958 – 2009.

Yasmin

Local films & advertisements will never be the same again.

Sepet

Sepet, 2004

Talentime

Talentime, 2009

Param's Tricycle

Param’s Bicycle, Merdeka 2003

Tan Hong Ming in Love

Tan Hong Ming in Love, Merdeka 2007

“Our children are colour blind. Shouldn’t we keep them that way?”

Curtains for Season 8

Quick update: Amy Adams is irresistably endearing, totally lovable, absolutely adorable! She (& her cute butt) are the only reasons to watch Night at the Museum 2.

Who cares who won? It was not the huge upset everyone thinks it was, come on, Adam does not deserve to win any more than Kris. It was basically choosing between his over-the-top wailing or Kris Allen’s limited vocal abilities, & the quality of this season is nothing compared to the awesome Season 7. What matters is the final results episode being kick-ass, & boy it was, I have got to admit! Really a total reverse of the performance episode, & who do we have to thank for a memorable end to Season 8? David Cook & Kara DioGuardi, & not forgetting Carrie Underwood’s very-welcomed presence & appearances throughout the season. So here’s a quick recap of what I thought was some of the best, worst & just plain memorable from a riveting suspiciously-conspired “ding-dong” Season 8.

Image3

Best Idol Performances:

1. Danny Gokey leading the way with “Somebody to Love” during the Hollywood group stages. Gokey was absolutely spectacular
2. Adam Lambert performing “Mad World” the first time, song choice of the season (& no screaming-wailing-screeching-whatever, thank God!)
3. Allison Iraheta with a mind-blowing rendition of “Alone”. If she did that in a finale…
4. Kris Allen‘s cool saved-his-lucky-arse “Heartless”, not exactly creative, but excellent comparatively. Btw, I don’t think his “Falling Slowly” was outstanding as everyone thinks, probably because I thought the original was just untouchable

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Best Guest Performances:

1. David Cook‘s stunning “Permanent”, showing Season 8 what a true AI winner is all about. Indeed the best idol winner alongside Underwood & a slowly languishing Clarkson
2. Jordin Sparks‘ powerful “Battlefield” with Ryan Tedder. Ama-a-a-zing! Fier-r-rce!
3. Carrie Underwood‘s “Home Sweet Home”, the best & only worthy performance in the top two finals episode

080415-idol-david-cook-718p.widec

Best Duet Performances:

1. Adam Lambert & Allison Iraheta‘s sizzling chemistry in “Slow Ride”
2. Kris Allen & Keith Urban, nice surprise, “Kiss A Girl”

adam-lambert-allison-0520

Most Shitty Performance:

1. “No Boundaries” both by Adam & Kris in the finale. Yet another exceptionally shitty AI ballad. How I miss the best ones like “A Moment Like This” & “I Believe”… 
2. Paula Abdul‘s guest performance. OMG what crap
3. Miley Cyrus attempting to sing live on the Idol stage with “The Climb”. Yucks

Best Vocals, what AI is really supposed to be about:

Danny Gokey, hands-down. Poor choice of songs, attempts & a sliding momentum spelled his end.

Best Guest Mentor:

Jamie Foxx! Fantastic energy, sincere mentoring

Cutest Idol:

Carrie Underwood? Alexis Grace! Really really loved her look. Allison Iraheta me likes very much too, minus some wardrobe misfits. Dunno what the judges were talking about, I thought she had loads of attitude, rock feistiness &…uh, well she really is cute!

400_americanidol_8_agrace_090305_fmicelotta_fox

Idols that should have gone home much earlier:

1. Scott MacIntyre. Sorry, really dull voice, too many sympathy votes
2. Lil Rounds. Bleh

Idol that went home too early:

Alexis Grace. Cute, petite, soulful, & should have been given more time

Best Idol Studio Recorded Version:

Matt Giraud‘s “You Found Me”. 10 times better than what he screeched live in the show, 20 times better than the original

Best Season 8 Moment:

I was tempted to say Cowell’s bulging eyes & “wow” mouth when Bikini Girl appeared in the finale, but Kara DioGuardi kicking the implants shit outta Bikini Girl with not just her singing, but her own even-hotter bikini-strip-down, was completely totally OWNING!

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Most Excruciating Things you must try to forget from Season 8:

1. Adam Lambert’s rendition of “Ring of Fire”. Major jaw-dropping ball-twisting weirdness
2. Tatiana Del Toro. Oh the horror
3. Bikini Girl. Ewww
4. Adam Lambert’s tongue & testicles-defying pants

Tatiana-Del-Toro_28_736815a

Now I’m off to rewatch David Cook’s heart-felt performance in the fantastic finale results episode again…no harm dropping by for a short sneak peek at DioGuardi’s bikini bod too…

KV’s Picks for 2008

Quickie: Paramore is featured in CSI Las Vegas, Episode 9 of Season 9!

It’s that time of the year again! The time to reflect on the ups & downs & rights & lefts of the past 12 months, while looking forward to, & taking advantage of, the start of an incoming new year to make inconcrete resolutions in the hope of prematurely reducing our hopeless guilt. Well, this bloke here is immersed in a current mood to come up with completely biased lists to summon up the best of what the year has offered from the entertainment scene. Of course I’m no insider when it comes to the La-la Land industry, so do kindly receive this as something coming from an average everyday dude that just happens to enjoy indulging in movies, music, idiot-box-offerings, & of course (just like any other hot-blooded male species) mighty hot women. Let us not deprive ourselves further of this pleasure, let’s roll out my list of heavily-biased favourite picks from whatever I have seen, listened, enjoyed & been repulsed by for the year 2008.

FILM

Movies of the Year: The Dark Knight, Juno & Iron Man

Movies of the year

These 3 (in a particular order) sprang into mind without even the slightest of hesitation. The Dark Knight boasted a great cast performance & an even impossibly greater plot, Juno was the surprise of the year with its cleverly witty take on teenage pregnancy, & Iron Man was supremely satisfying.

Edge-of-your-seat Action Movie: Cloverfield

Action

Love it, or hate it. I don’t care how many people across the globe puked while watching this, because my 2 times in the cinema in the shaky hands of Hud were easily the most mind-blowing, cardiac-arrest-inducing, ball-busting sessions I had this year.

Romance Movie: Definitely, Maybe

Romance

With supremely hot gorgeous leading ladies & a darling Abigail Breslin, not even a wimpy Ryan Reynolds could dampen this sweet warm tale narrated with a clever twist.

Comedic Movies: Charlie Wilson’s War, Tropic Thunder & Be Kind Rewind

Comedy

Since I’ve already mentioned Juno in an earlier category, these 3 stood out most. Charlie Wilson’s War delighted in its light-heart political storyline enthused by hilarious dialogues, it was fun to see the stars making a fool of themselves in Tropic Thunder, & Be Kind Rewind was an amusingly heart-warming ride all the way.

Saddest Cry-your-heart-out Movie: Grace Is Gone

Sad

The performance of his life from John Cusack along with an impressive Shélan O’Keefe. This movie’s poignant beauty will stay with you for a long, long time.

Animation Movie: WALL-E

Animation

Unique, richly entertaining, touching & big-hearted, along with glorious detailed animations, WALL-E rises above the rest to end up as an animation masterpiece. Everybody together now, Eeevvveee-aaaahh.

Musical Movie: Once

Once

I quote: “Captures the rare chemistry & unforced artistry of two people finding music as well as personal harmony together & we are lucky enough to be there to watch it.” Couldn’t have summed this untraditional musical up better.

Most Over-hyped Movie: Twilight

Over-hyped

So-so movie with sizzling chemistry from the leads but horribly laughable special effects.

Most Under-rated Movie: Traitor

Under-rated

A well-paced & extremely complex thriller that leaves viewers with a subjective but realistic afterthought.

Biggest Disappointment Movie: The X-Files: I Want To Believe

Disappointment

The only positive thing about this anti-climatic pancit-ter is seeing Mulder & Scully together onscreen again, making us believe that their legacy (& only that) lives on.

Most Impressive Performance in a Movie: Amy Adams

Impressive

Adams was the perfect choice for Giselle in Enchanted, & gave her trademark cheerful, sunny, all-round performance that probably saved the entire movie. No easy feat to make a real-life Disney princess convincing!

Hottest Movie Chicks: Anne Hathaway (Agent 99, Get Smart), Camila Belle (Evolet, 10,000 BC) & Mila Kunis (Rachel Jansen, Forgetting Sarah Marshall)

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A super-hot super-agent, blue eyes to kill, & a very sexy raspy voice.

Film Soundtrack: The Dark Knight, Hans Zimmer & James Newton Howard

Soundtrack

Simply stunning, gloriously dark & really, quite spectacular.

Song from a Movie: “Falling Slowly” from Once, Glen Hansard & Markéta Irglová

Falling Slowly

It was beautiful from the moment they sang in the movie first time, & for its simple melody with powerful raw emotion, it sure deserved the Oscar it won.

TELEVISION

Series of the Year: Bones

Series

Very enjoyable, & a great relief sometimes when you don’t have to strain your brain too much while watching a series. The strength lies in the chemistry & performance of the 2 leads, Booth & Brennan, as well as a very entertaining supporting cast.

Most Disappointing Series: Heroes Season 3

Jamban series

The story is going down the jamban, & almost every character (especially Suresh, Hiro & Claire) are getting seriously annoying.

Hottest TV Characters: Lily van der Woodsen (Gossip Girl) & Temperance “Bones” Brennan (Bones)

Lily & Bones

1 hot mama who is hotter than her hot daughter, & 1 hot female  forensic anthropologist who is obsessed with skeletal remains. Whoa.

MUSIC

Single of the Year: “That’s What You Get”, Paramore

Single

I can’t stop playing this song! Lo-o-ove it!

Album of the Year: Viva La Vida or Death and All His Friends, Coldplay

Album

Some fresh & more muscular musical arrangements but still with a little of the old Coldplay shine soaring through those anthemic stadium-rock rhythms make this album an undisputed winner.

Video of the Year: “Hallelujah”, Paramore

Video

I told you this list was biased, *grin*. But seriously, this is the perfect Paramore video, furiously interweaving various live & behind-the-scenes clips of the band doing what they do best, performing live.

Surprising Hey-that’s-pretty-darn-good Songs: “Stay”, Estrella & “Gravity”, Sara Bareilles

Surprise!

Estrella deserves their radio success, “Stay” is catchy & simply brilliant (a big hurrah for local music!), & Bareilles’ vocals & musical astuteness shine through in that last track of her album.

Favourite Live Concerts on DVD: Hillsong Live – Saviour King, Avril Lavigne – Live from the Roxy Theatre, &  freaking anything from Paramore live

Live

Brooke Fraser is spectacular in Saviour King Live, Avril was surprisingly good in her subtle Roxy Theatre acoustic concert, & all I want for Christmas is The Final Riot! DVD from Paramore.

Favourite New Artists: Katy Perry & Kate Nash

New Artist

Katy Perry’s flair & confidence blazes through her sassy & feisty songs, while Kate Nash deserves her skyrocketing success for her exuberant & refreshing beats, charming melodies & that cockney accent.

Over-rated Artists: The Jonas Brothers

The Jonases

I can’t stand their vocals. Enough! I give up.

Most Played Songs on My iTunes: A tie between “Live Your Life”, T.I. feat. Rihanna & “Decode”, Paramore

Most Played

The official count recorded on iTunes is 48 each. Rihanna’s vocals give that extra oomph to “Live Your Life”, & Paramore, with incredibly outstanding vocals from Hayley, has written a soundtrack song that Twilight is unworthy of.

Most Annoying Replays on Radio: “Soulja Boy”, Crank Dat & “Bubbly”, Colbie Caillat

I don't wanna hear this crap again

All those damned “Ohhhhhh!”s from “Soulja Boy” just make me wanna crash my car, & frankly, anything from the ridiculously sugary Caillat is getting on my nerves.

& FINALLY…

Women of the Year: Hayley Nichole Williams & Zooey Claire Deschanel

Hayley & Zooey

Yes, I made up this last category for pointless fun. Let’s face it, it is Hayley’s awesome vocals & her bubbly & energetic personality (oh, her flaming hair too) that give Paramore that extra edge, making her an awesome lead vocalist without completely overshadowing her band-mates, instead sharing with them excellent musical & onstage chemistry. Zooey, whom I love for her endearing deadpan onscreen acting & slightly eccentric fashion sense, continues to display her soaring talent through the debut album of She & Him, lending her distinctively charming voice as one half of the duo, that same voice some of us fell in love with in the movie Elf. & really, could you resist those pair of eyes?

Thus come to an end this list, that really serves to please the author himself only, & the year 2008, which began with our former Health Minister ejaculating in humping in a DVD & ending with our Prime Minister announcing his  scheduled premature ejection retirement from the government of this country in 2009. Cheery new year everyone!

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